Gay Bloggies

What an exciting competition this has been!

Before we get to the juicy part we would like to thank our sponsors for this years Gay Bloggies. Without them this would not have been possible.

Presenting Sponsor: Aussiebum

Platinum: College Dudes 24/7, First Auditions, Randy Blue, Sean Cody, Military Classified.

Gold: Perfect Guyz, Straight Hell, Rugger Bugger, You Love Jack, Famous Males.

Silver: Authentic Footballers, By Gone Boys, Muscle Adonis, The Guy Site, CFNM, Eric Deman, Straight Lads, Up Yer Kilt.

Media: Sirius OutQ Radio - The Derek and Romaine Show

Also, special thanks to our crew of talented Gay Bloggers! We know it was a time commitment for you all to participate and we thank you for making it great.

Pierre Fitch, Pierre Fitch Blog
Richard, Proceed at Your Own Risk
D. Michael, CitizenDanger
Fausto Fernos, Feast of Fools
Frank, OMG Blog
Craig, Puntabulous
BryanBoy, BryanBoy
Arjan, Arjan Writes
Scott Anthony, Scott Anthony
Ernie, Little. Yellow. Different
Chris, About A Boy and His Briefs
Dan Renzi, How Was Your Day Dan?

Now for the fun part!

After 8 weeks, 12 challenges, and great competition it is time to announce the winner of the Gay Bloggies 2007.

In 6th place - Ernie, Little. Yellow. Different (site memberships)

In 5th place - D.Michael, CitizenDangerX ($25 USD + site memberships)

In 4th place - BryanBoy, BryanBoy ($50 USD + site memberships)

Total votes from challenges 10, 11, and 12 were counted and decided the final top 3 winners of the competition.

In 3rd place - Craig, Puntabulous ($100 USD + site memberships)

In 2nd place - Fausto Fernos, Feast of Fools ($1,000 USD + site memberships)

Which means our winner, and recipient of $2,500 USD and TONS of free porn, is...

In 1st place - Frank, OMG Blog

This was a great experience and the entire QC Team would like to thank everyone for their participation. We will be back next year with an ALL NEW format.

This is it. We've come to the final round. Here's your chance to prove yourself to the Bloggies Voters. You decide the topic, the content and the message of your final entry.

Make it count, make it good, and make it the best to win!

Good luck to all 3. As for the readers, hit the thumbs!

Hello again! Craig from Puntabulous here! If you know which classic episode of a beloved TV series the title of this post is referring to, you should just skip down to the bottom of this post and click the THUMBS UP button because we're totally best friends. If not, continue reading:

Go Craig! Go!

Honey! I'm home!

Well hello Natalie Portman, my wife!

What are you doing sweetie?

I'm watching the voting tallies for the Gay Bloggies!

Um, you're a moron. And that's a MagnaDoodle.

Yeah, I know. I was gonna use the Hungry Hungry Hippos until Felice ate all the marbles.

Bad dinosaur!

Where are we anyway? This doesn't look like your shitty blog.

That's because this isn't my shitty blog. We're at the Gay Bloggies website. See?

Wow! It's like, all professional and shit. They even have sponsors! And advertisements!

I know, right? Check out that Aussiebum guy! Dayum!

How come we don't have sponsors and advertisements on our website?

Well you see...

Lights please...

I think blogging should be about sharing your thoughts with the world. Trying to get people to laugh, even if no one thinks you're all that funny. Informing them of what's happening on our planet that has no other way of reaching their lives. Teaching them something new, whether it's a new word or life experience they may never have to endure. Letting people know that they're not alone. Or brightening their day, even if it's just a little bit. It shouldn't be about making money, or corporate sponsors, or selling T-shirts.

Are you sure it's not because no one wants to sponsor your crappy website?

Well duh, that too, but I still think all that other shit I said is true.

And you aren't savvy enough to get sponsors or computer literate enough to add advertisements.

Okay! Okay! I get it!

And you're ugly!

Well folks, I guess that's all from me at the Gay Bloggies. It's been a blast! I hope you've enjoyed reading my entries as much as I've enjoyed sharing them with you. It's been an honor to be included in this fierce (both in the cougar and the Tyra meaning of the word) competition and to have made it this far. Remember, a vote for me is a vote for the little guy!

Throughout the Gay Bloggies competition, we have all been up against blogs very different from our own and have received support (and criticism) from an equally diverse group of fans. If anything, we all represent a few tiny points on the beautiful rainbow spectrum of Gayness.

But what does "Gayness" mean anyway? Let's study the evidence.

Gayness is... Star Quality (real or imagined):

Gayness is... Nude Opera:

Gayness is... "Retarded" (according to Apostle Delphine Thomas, a "prophetess chosen and ordained by God"):

Gayness is... Sean Connery in this photo:

Gayness is... Cute, Cuddly, and Pervy all at the same time:

Gayness is... Prayer (it didn't work for Ted Haggard... Or arguably it did):

Gayness is... Hilarious (as evidenced by these frat boys dancing around in thongs laughing at the funniness of it all):

Gayness is you and me. It's all of us. I hate to get too introspective, but competing against this particular group of guys for this competition made me realize that there are many gay universes outside of !! omg blog !!. They may baffle and frustrate me at times, but together we all make up the Grand Gay Matrix for better or for worse.

And there is one undeniable fact that links us all together.

Gayness Is... Remixing Aaron Carter's cock:

It's been real, everyone! I hate to say "goodbye" in case there is a surprise Round 13, so I'll say "happy holidays" instead with the music video for supermodel Heidi Klum's Christmas song "Wonderland."

If Gayness is anything, it's Heidi Klum blowing gold dust kisses from a CGI horse and carriage:

I made it to the finals in the Gay Bloggies. I'm so excited. I'm about to lose control and I think I like it!

This week marks the 10th anniversary of blogs and from the looks of the entries in this contest alone, the future is brighter than ever. You've come a long way gay baby.

Way back in 1997, a hairy bear, Jorn Barger, editor of the first weblog, Robot Wisdom coined the term "weblog" to describe his process of "logging the web." He still thinks the best blogs to this day are those which look outward and link to sites of interest rather than focus on their own opinions. I don't necessarily agree with his opinion on other people's opinions, especially when it comes to gay blogs.

It's fun to get in someone's head for a little while each day. When you live outside the dominant paradigm like gays do you need something to relate to. That's part of the reason why gay blogs are among the most popular. People want that intimacy.

For gay people, blogs of a personal nature are vital to our sense of well-being. We need to hear each others opinions because for so long our opinions have been silenced. Many gay people still live in parts of the world where they have little access to any gay community.

Sharing your ideas, stories and opinions online is liberation baby! We may have a long ways to go but now we have the tools to get there. Oh, and the porn isn't too bad either.

For the first time in modern history we're entertaining and informing each other directly, one on one. The collective knowledge of our oral and written histories has a powerful impact on young people today. They get to grow up knowing full well the good, the bad and the ugly (and the beautiful) side of the gay experience.

Who is the real winner in the gay bloggies? Everybody! We all win because we are all here exchanging our thoughts and ideas about what it is to be gay, and that is going to make a difference for a long time to come.

For this last challenge I decided to ask once again the listeners of my talk show, Feast of Fools what are some of the questions they're always asking. Questions about me, podcasting, life, love and the nature of the universe.

Listen to my final Gay Bloggies BONUS podcast, joined by my partner Marc Felion as we try to answer as many questions as we can from you.

Click here to download the audio mp3 file (and play on your iPod.)
To subscribe to the Feast of Fools podcast for free using iTunes, click here.

Featured Music:
• Reuben Butchart - Golden Boy: iTunes | CD Baby | Amazon
• Chris Garneau - Music for Tourists: iTunes | Amazon | Site

The music featured on today's show is by two fabulously cute, sexy and openly gay musicians, Chris Garneau and Reuben Butchart. I had the pleasure of interviewing both of them on our talk show, and even had Chris come over to the home studio to play "The Island" a new song from his upcoming album. Here is a link to the video, and to my audio interview with him. Isn't he just adorable? Chris is just as kind, gentle and thoughtful in person as he is in his music. Having him in the home studio playing live was quite an experience for all of us. His songs and his voice carry an emotional strength to them, a wonderful simplicity that references old world lullabies and drinking songs.

Here are some of the questions we tried to answer. Got any more? Post them below and I'll try to answer them in the comments area.

Here are some questions answered:

Are your hair and eyes really blue?
Yes. It's not contacts. Part of my hair really is blue, but I have to make that happen. For the past three years, I've been bleaching out my hair and then putting in blue dye in to create the effect. But, I'm not alone in doing this. A good idea is a good idea.
HELPFUL LINK: Blue Haired Fans Gallery

Is Fausto Fernós your REAL name?
Yes, again! My mother named me after the title character in Goethe's book Fausto (translated into Spanish from Faust). The name comes from the German word "fust" which can mean victory, first or fist. My last name Fernós comes from the old Spanish word "fornos" which literally means ovens, to work with fire. I used to have the nickname "Johnny Storm" because I ate fire at the beginning of every live Feast of Fools show. Flame on!
HELPFUL LINK: How to eat fire.

Favorite movie quote?
"Don't f*ck with me fellas! This ain't my first time at the rodeo." - Faye Dunway as Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest. What a wonderfully insane film. Every time I get mad about something, I channel Faye Dunaway's indignant rage as Joan Crawford and then I don't feel so bad!
HELPFUL LINK: Mommie Dearest Mix

Why do you work so hard?
I bust my ass because I love what I do. When I was a kid I used to draw pictures of myself hosting my own talk show. I don't just see what I do as a job, I see it as a vocation. Plus, from time to time I get to talk to some really hot men. If my microphone could talk.
HELPFUL LINK: Podcasting: Do It Yourself Guide

Why can't I stop thinking about Britney Spears?
Because celebrities are beautiful, talented and fabulous people. It's not all hype. But why are we all gawking at some hillbilly pop-star as she stumbles around the stage? Because we like to see the tragedy unfold. Watching people like Brtiney crash and burn is our modern day morality story, it's our Shakespeare. Eek! She once was pretty and now she's a mess, but we still love her music. Record companies invest millions of dollars into these people's careers and they want to see a return on their investment. They don't always get it back. That's part of the reason why record companies are in such terrible shape these days, they hired a bunch of pretty on the outside but ultimately awkward people to sell records and they messed it up. Nobody bought Michael Jacksons's last album and Sony lost out. Everyone's buying Britney Spears latest album and so the beat goes on...
HELPFUL LINK: Britney's infamous "Gimme More" at the VMA's

How do I get my music played on your show?
There are currently around 13,000 radio stations in the U.S. which have ALL the music in the world to chose from and record labels spend millions of dollars every year to promote their music to these stations. Are they getting their money's worth? I don't know, but as you can imagine, it's not very easy to get your music played there. There are an estimated 36,000 podcasts currently listed currently on the iTunes Music store, and I would guess the number to be around 20,000 or so programs which regularly put out shows. If I were a musician who had a CD out and wanted people to listen to it, I would send a nice fruit basket to every podcast on the iTunes top 100 that plays music on their shows and bug them to play my songs. We're always looking for fabulous new music to feature on our show.
HELPFUL LINK: Feast of Fools Music Release Forms

What should I put in my blog, podcast or videos?
Put something that you find interesting! If you're into what you're doing, others will pick up on your joy and want to share in the fun. All the contestants here have a common passion for what they do. We all struggle, so please be kind in what you say on the internet. Unnecessarily trashing someone on the internet just because you can brings down everyone.
HELPFUL LINK: Manifest Your Potential

What's a secret to making a good video?
I don't really know, as I'm still learning to do it myself, but please don't be afraid to try it! Good audio and lighting can go a long way to making you look and sound flawless! A nice cheap idea is to use nylon Chinese lanterns for lighting yourself in the video. They cost next to nothing, and you can just stick in a really high wattage bulb in there. It's what I used to light myself for the "XXX-Mas Karaoke Medley" video.
HELPFUL LINK: Nylon Chinese Lanterns

If you had three wishes, what would it be?
One of those wishes would be for a whole cable channel that played nothing but "Planet Unicorn" cartoons. Come on Shannon, only five videos? Give it up for Feathers, Cadillac and Tom Cruise! They were so good, and you can plainly see from the public response that we're hungry for more. Gimme, gimme more. With all the pain and suffering in the world today, sometimes all we need to forget our troubles is a whimsical cartoon about a crudely drawn gay boy and his planet full of sassy gay unicorns.
HELPFUL LINK: Planet Unicorn

Why even bother?
There is always someone smarter, sexier and funnier than you, but there probably is also someone meaner, uglier and dumber than you. Don't get intimidated. I hope that our collective experience in the Gay Bloggies leaves all the visitors to the site hungry for more and go off on their own to create rich internet experiences. One great thing we have is our own community forums where we encourage people from all backgrounds to post their stories, ideas, videos, music and jokes. That part of the site is my pride and joy. Please post your stuff there.
HELPFUL LINK: Feast of Fools Community

Why is there pain and suffering in the world?
Because it makes sunshine, rainbows and lollipops all that more special. Maybe Buddists [updated link] have something going on with the idea that "desire is the source of all pain and suffering." We spend so much time being bombarded with ads trying to brainwash us into wanting some shitty underarm deodorant or new cola drink we forget to love ourselves and each other.
HELPFUL LINK: LOLcats Blog - I Can Has Cheezburger?

I want to thank the little dog Toby, Aussie Bum and all the sponsors for the opportunity to take part in the Gay Bloggies and allow me to express myself to a new and fabulous audience. I hope I win the top prize! As Liberace used to say at the end of his concerts, don't say goodbye, say "ciao!"

To subscribe to the Feast of Fools podcast for free using iTunes, click here.

We've heard the final 3's new year resolutions. And I guess it is time to say goodbye to another blogger.

NAH! That was a no elimination round! So Craig, Fausto and Frank are all safe!! You can all heave a sigh of relief now. BUT BUT BUT - the votes still count, and here's how we're going to do it. The votes for Challenge 10, along with the final 2 more rounds will all be totaled to determine the eventual winner, 2nd and 3rd places for this year's Gay Bloggies.

The great thing about elimination is you get rid of a fierce competitor. The no-so-great thing is they get to set this challenge for you! We asked BryanBoy to give us a challenge for this round and here's what he came up with:

Challenge 11: Karaoke Superstar!

Lets play karaoke and showcase your VOICE! Record a video of you singing, with your real voice, to an ENTIRE song (start to finish) of your choice. Anything else you want to add is up to you.

Give your ears a good cleaning, folks! Then rock those votes.

My karaoke performance slideshow of "Angel of the Morning" is dedicated to all the great love affairs (and anonymous bathroom encounters) that were never meant to last.

Memory lane can be sad, so let's walk it together.

See you later, Gay Bloggies. It's been fun. Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby.

xo Frank

Hey folks! Craig from Puntabulous here! When I found out the final challenge was going to be karaoke, I almost died. I mean, I've done a different form of karaoke on my blog with Natalie Portman, my wife, such as Baby Got Back and Total Eclipse of the Heart, but never real live singing!

I am most definitely the worst singer in the world. I can't believe I need to inflict this video upon you. You don't deserve it. Well some of you do. Seriously, what's with all the nasty comments? But most of you are upstanding individuals who would never hurt a delicate flower such as myself.

Anyway, here you go. I hope this gets you into the Christmas spirit. Or at the very least inspires you to give me a Thumbs Up. As you will see, I need the prize money for voice lessons.

Bad right? Like, there aren't even words to describe it. But you know, life hands me lemons, and I try my best to make the silliest lemonade possible. Just like everything else, I try to have a good time and not take myself too seriously.

As you know, the holidays can get a little chilly, so I decided to put together this medley of music to "make things nice and hot!"

No, I'm not quoting Tina Turner.

I came up with the song "Don't Care What I Get for Christmas" while in a long and boring car trip to the suburbs of Chicago. I wanted to make a sexy Christmas song, so I immediately thought of "roasting chestnuts." The song medley begins with the The Pointer Sisters "I'm So Excited" then leads to Blondie's "Call Me" and to the infamous "Disco Medley" by the fabulous 70s Philadelphia power group, the Salsoul Family Orchestra.

I put together this tacky and loud medley with the help of my good friend Taylor E Ross, a fabulous local musician. Taylor used to perform with me in the live Feast of Fools show where he was known as Link Pinks. I always thought that Link Pinks was an odd sounding name. It means to create a bond of trust by linking another persons pinky finger with your own. Regardless of his name, don't you think he looks good in pink? The photo was taken by my good friend Jason Smith.

Featured Music:
The Pointer Sisters - I'm So Excited: iTunes
Blondie - Call Me: iTunes
Mel Torme - The Christmas Song: iTunes
Clay Aiken - Winter Wonderland: iTunes
The Salsoul Orchestra - Christmas Medley: iTunes
Pointer Sisters - Santa Claus is Coming To Town: iTunes
Fausto Fernós & Taylor E Ross - Don't Care What I Get For Christmas: Site
Ella Fitzgerald - White Christmas: iTunes

Inspiration:
William Shatner - Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds: iTunes
Del Rubio Triplets - Winter Wonderland: YouTube

Credits:
Camera: Marc Felion
Audio Mixing: Fausto Fernós
Music Arranged and Recorded by: Taylor E Ross and Fausto Fernós
Guitar: Taylor E Ross

To subscribe to the Feast of Fools podcast for free using iTunes, click here.

This new Challenge is courtesy of D.Mike - Gay Bloggies' sexy Fourth Runner-Up. He wants to know...

What is your new year's resolution for 2008?

Participating in the Gay Bloggies so far has been a great character-building exercise, but during all the self-reflection the contest has inspired, I have come to a troubling conclusion: I think I might be kind of superficial.

Some clues...

This fills me with desire and great sadness:

This excites me:

This makes me laugh:

I like this song so much that I sometimes sing it in public:

I most enjoy political discourse that involves attractive, closeted douchebags:

Did I mention this makes me laugh?

Anyway, hope is not lost. I have identified the problem, and I resolve that in 2008 I will work diligently to ensure that I grow into a better-informed person with more diverse interests.

"But what about !! omg blog !!?" you say. "Is it gonna get all serious and stuff?"

Well you don't need to worry about that. Even as I begin my journey of personal enlightenment, I will keep bringing you the dumbest, most trivial and hilarious things ever along with a generous share of celeb balls and butts. You can't change everything at once.

So for the past 5 years, my New Year's resolution has been to come out to my parents. Turns out 2007 was finally the year! That's great! The bad part? Now I have to come up with a new New Year's resolution! Ugh! What am I possibly supposed to give up? There's so many things I'm doing wrong! Nothing THAT wrong of course. This challenge would be a lot easier if I ate babies or something. Then I could just say that my New Year's resolution was to stop eating babies, and everyone would be like: "That's an excellent idea! Thumbs up!" But I don't, so I need some help.

That's where you come in. I'm gonna go down a list of things that could be my New Year's resolution and you need to tell me which one it should be. To help you, with each resolution, I'll include either a celebrity Role Model or Troll Model to use as inspiration for each of my resolutions.

Celebrity Role Model: Celebrity who I use as an example of what to be.
Celebrity Troll Model: Celebrity who I use as an example of what NOT to be.

Resolution: Give up Manhunt.net.
Discussion: Let's get one thing straight, I don't meet people off of Manhunt, I just like to look at the pretty pictures. And you know, maybe a little flirty flirt chatting, but that's harmless, right? Yeah, but then I start browsing on the train rides home on Mobile Manhunt (which requires a... dare I say it... paid subscription), and that's when I realize that I might have a problem. But keeping myself busy on Manhunt prevents me from falling asleep on the train and missing my stop! That's a good thing, right?
Major Benefit: Less time on Manhunt = More time reading books.
Celebrity Troll Model: Clay Aiken
Why him? Look at the mess he got himself into because of his online debauchery! But then again, if I had sex with someone on Manhunt, and they took it public, no one would care. He'd be all like: "I had sex with Craig from Puntabulous!" and everyone would be like: "Who?" and he'd say: "Craig from Puntabulous!" and everyone would be like: "Who?" It would go on and on for a while, and then people would lose interest. The only major news outlet that would report the story would be Fox News just to show how sexually deviant gay people are.

Resolution: Look up words I don't know in the dictionary when I come across them while I'm reading rather than skipping over them and never knowing what they mean.
Discussion: It's not like I'm reading Shakespeare or anything, it's usually Star Wars novels, so I should be able to understand all the words. Skipping over words is lazy and doesn't teach me anything.
Major Benefit: I'll seem smarter at dinner parties. You know, in case I ever get invited to dinner parties.
Celebrity Role Model: Jodie Foster.
Why her? I don't know for a fact that she looks up words she doesn't know, but she always seems pretty smart. I bet she does. And then maybe she can model herself after me and come out of the closet.
Almost: I almost chose the guy who played The Architect in Matrix Reloaded, but I bet he doesn't even know what half the words he said meant either.

Resolution: Go out more.
Discussion: I enjoy drinking. Why not go out to places that specialize in drinking? Bars! But in order to do so, I must convince my friends that a night together doesn't always have to include Wii or Guitar Hero. But they're all straight. Maybe I should just go out to a gay bar and make some gay friends for once? Ugh, I hate gay people though.
Major Benefit: I could meet Mr. Right!
Celebrity Troll Model: Julia Roberts
Why her? Seems like she hasn't left her house since Mona Lisa Smile. What? Was she too busy to be in Oceans 13? Loser. And now she's back with that stupid looking Tom Hanks movie, and we've long lost interest in her. If I don't leave the house more, that could happen to me! Kinda.

Resolution: Quit sucking (figuratively).
Discussion: This is just a preemptive measure to beat any commenters who feel they need to leave the comment: "Your New Year's resolution should be to quit sucking so much! Assface!"
Major Benefit: No one likes sucky people. Especially agitated commenters.
Celebrity Troll Model: Chloë Sevigny in Brown Bunny.
Why her? She proved that sucking (literally) publicly is never a good thing.

Resolution: Exercise more.
Discussion: It's not like I'd have to start lifting weights or anything. Running would do. Geez, could you imagine me lifting weights? Besides, I look terrible in sleeveless shirts, which I assume I'd have to start wearing if I were to start lifting weights.
Major Benefit: I'll be better prepared when I turn 30 and my prepubescent metabolism slows down and I need to start fighting the bulge.
Celebrity Role Model: Andy Roddick.
Why him? Because as his Men's Fitness cover proves, he is able to grow amazing muscles with the least amount of work on his part. That's a work out (and a tennis player) I can get behind!

So which one do you guys think I should make my New Year's resolution? I'm leaning towards the "Exercising More". Exercising would help me out with most of my other resolutions. If I start running it would 1) give me less time to spend on Manhunt, 2) force me to spend more time out of the house, 3) make me look hot for when I find Mr. Right, 4) make me suck slightly less.

But it wouldn't teach me any new words. Oh the dilemma!

The two-faced bitch I'm talking about is the Roman god Janus. The tradition of New Year's Resolutions, like most fabulous gay events, goes way back to ancient Roman times. The Romans believed a two-faced god, Janus, was a metaphor for looking back in time in order to gain insight into the future. You can imagine how sexy it would be to have a muscular Roman god with two mouths in the sack! I wonder how he looked naked. Woof! Yes, woof indeed!

To this day we celebrate in the beginning of January, a month named after the god Janus, by declaring how we're going to improve ourselves in the coming year.

But what's really going on here? Why do we do this? I think we react to the celebration of the oncoming year by trying to better understand who we are and how to love ourselves unconditionally. To me this doesn't necessarily mean accepting all your personal shortcomings 100%. It means understanding who you are at the moment, knowing where would you like to go and giving yourself the love to get there. It means challenging yourself to change.

As gay folks, I want to know how we can get a little more love into our hearts and maybe into other areas of the body so I opened up the voice-mail line (773) 681-3833 to the listeners to answer the question: "What is something specific that you're doing now to love yourself unconditionally?"

Listen to this podcast of my sweet husband Marc Felion and me, Fausto Fernós as we respond to your voice messages of unconditional love and get some insight from our fabulous friend Marsian De Lellis, a modern-day Truman Capote and fabulous artist. We regularly feature Marsian on our podcast Feast of Fools at the beginning of the New Year in order to get some insight of things to come.

Marsian's a pretty wacky guy who spends most of his time making tragic puppet shows about campy pop-culture icons. He was part of the very first Feast of Fools show ten years ago when it was an odd-ball variety show done here in Chicago. I love his sense of humor and think you might like it too. But I'm warning you, the guy earns his name Marsian.

Click here to download the audio mp3 file (and play on your iPod.)
To subscribe to the Feast of Fools podcast for free using iTunes, click here.

We're featuring some fabulous songs by the sexy indie rock musician Eric Himan. Isn't he just adorable? You can get his album "Everywhere All at Once" here: iTunes | Amazon | CD Baby | MySpace. So what are MY New Year's resolutions? Let's get REAL, most of them are probably the same as your resolutions. Maybe we should all just agree that every year we must all pledge an oath to get in shape, make more money, love more etc. It could be like the "Pledge of Allegiance" but only done on January first. Are you with me?

I think Dolly Parton and Amy Sedaris sum it up pretty well in the video for the song "Better Get To Livin.'"

But really, I do want to be closer to my family and friends, spend more time with them, gain a better control of my finances and get in really killer shape. Washboard abs here I come! Fuck Reichen! I'm so jealous of him. I too want to license my face and hot muscle ass to sell tacky titanium jewelry on the internet and call the product line "Podcast Naked."

In January I plan to expand our regular video podcast that features Marc and me discussing the odd news and social trends that cropped up in the week. I plan to improve our financial situation by securing more regular advertisers. I plan to clean up more, be on time, and make sure that I get to bed early at night.

I plan on doing fun things, like spending more time kissing and hugging my sweet husband Marc.

I plan on doing difficult things, like taking vitamins on a regular basis.

Like you, I plan on accomplishing some things because these are ways I want to take care of myself. I'm being realistic here, I know not everything is going to get done but I sure will try!

I'd love to hear your resolutions, ideas or comments. Let me feel the love.

My my, how many haters/supporters are there in da house? APLENTY! Just look at the slew of comments here and here (over a 130? Woohoo~!). The fangs and claws are everywhere this last round, and you fellas got Toby here trembling... whatever happened to EMBRACING differences? (if you thought some of the comments were vicious, you haven't seen those we trashed!). Please boys, let's keep things civilised.

Onward! The votes are in for Challenge 9: Grand Tour and the blogger with the fewest votes is... BryanBoy.

BB, we are sad to see you go but getting to the top 4 isn't too shabby at all (good thing you seem to be taking the boot in stride... now that's the sporting spirit we like here. And how true, there's always next year! We will be in touch with your cash prize and free 1 year porn memberships as soon as the contest ends. You sweat glitter still!)

With three contestants left - Craig, Fausto, Frank - there will no longer be a list of bottom ranked bloggers given from this point forward. It's showtime!

It's time to get closer! Give us a grand tour of where you live (You can go Macro - town, neighbourhood or Micro - home, bedroom, etc.)!

When I first moved to Toronto, Canada, I had a concern that there would be no good Mexican restaurants, which I think was fair. When you think of Canada, do you think of its large Mexican population?

I moved here from New York, where I had lived for three years and where there are plenty of Mexicans, and thus more than a few reliable places I could get a good chorizo taco, though the best Mexican food I found in New York was actually not even in the New York metropolitan area (it was in Yonkers). But I digress...

Back to Toronto, my newest adopted home. When I moved here, I met new friends, one of whom is Mexican and of course shares my enthusiasm for the cuisine of her homeland. We started throwing "taco parties" and making all sorts of delicious dishes (my specialty is guacamole, hers is everything else), which entertained our friends but was a lot of work for us.

We wanted to sit down and eat something delicious made by other people, and so we started driving to remote locations all over Toronto in search of the city's best authentic taco. It's a pilgrimage that is ongoing, but I want to share with you all our findings so far.

Frank and Laura's Grand Tour of Toronto's Best Mexican Eats

Rebozo's
126 Rogers St., three blocks west of Dufferin
(416) 658-5001
The best Mexican food in Toronto hands down. The tortillas are homemade, the cochinita pibil is the best I've ever had, and they have a salsa that will burn off the roof of your mouth. It's in the middle of nowhere, but well worth the trip. I had my birthday party there last summer and ate so much...

El Jacal
1056 Bloor St. W
(416) 244-4447
Their tacos with chorizo and melted oaxaca cheese are killer. I could eat ten of them right now. Plus the owners have the most adorable baby.

El Camino Real 1
2848 Dundas St. W
(416) 769-5240
The food is good here, but more importantly there is a party room in the back with salsa dancing and karaoke in English and Spanish after 10pm on the weekends. It's the perfect place to have a nice, sober good time.

Mexitaco
828 Bloor Street W
(416) 537-6693
One of the first authentic Mexican places I found in Toronto. Very good tacos, and they have Sidral Mundet (Mexican apple soda), which scores them bonus points.

El Trompo
277 Augusta Ave.
(416) 260-0097
The tacos al pastor are delicious, if a little pricey. It's convenient if you're in the Kensington Market area.

Tacos El Asador
690 Bloor St. W.
(416) 538-9747
Not exactly Mexican, but the tacos are good and really cheap.

Yum, yum! Just thinking about all my favorite restaurants makes me want to eat a big belly-full of meat, corn, lime and cilantro! You might think my taco fixation makes me a little crazy, but at least I'll never be as crazy as this guy:

OMG, I just realized this is my first entry for Gay Bloggies that could actually be of some use to someone! Maybe I really do have what it takes to be America's Next Top Model! Or is it the Internet's Gayest Blogger?

Whatever the title, please help me get it by giving me the thumbs up! Don't I deserve it for making your next trip to Toronto so unforgettably spicy and filled with meat?

Chicago may be the "Second City" but it's first in nicknames: "Hog Butcher to the World," "The City that Works," "Chitown" and my personal favorite "The City of Broad Shoulders" --va va va voom! Chicago is a truly fabulous place to live. For this challenge I decided to "go home" and return to my "roots" as a podcaster, or as we used to say "audio blogger" and take you on a sound-seeing tour of our quaint neighborhood, Andersonville.

In the early days of podcasting, way back in 2004, bloggers added audio mp3 files to their entries to enhance the flavor and depth of their usual entries. Boy has this development grown to incorporate so many fabulous types of podcasts. The podcast genre presents information that you just can't experience through the written word, YouTube clips or photographs alone. Recorded interviews, round table discussions, music samplers, oral histories, sound-seeing tours and other auditory experiences created as podcasts enrich the internet in exciting new ways.

Listen as Marc Felion and me, Fausto Fernós take you on a little tour of our neighborhood Andersonville, as we flirt with sexy pastry chefs, peek into people's windows to see their Christmas trees and talk about the gay bars and lesbian hangouts that make our fabulous neighborhood.

Yes, my voice really does sound like that!

Click here to download the audio mp3 file (and play on your iPod.)

We start our little tour in my living room, playing my favorite piano in the whole wide world, a fabulous sounding Yamaha U1 white upright piano. You can follow my sound-seeing tour with my sweet and handsome husband Marc Felion either by checking out my photo gallery on Flickr or through Google Maps Streets View, which allows you to see the location as if you were walking down the street with us. We'll let you know when to head south when when we reach 5449 N. Clark St!

It's really cold today in Chicago. We had to wear several layers of clothing to keep from freezing as Marc and I left the apartment to give you guys the grand tour of Andersonville. Once a Swedish neighborhood, Andersonville has become lesbian central, hence it's nickname Ander-snatch. After all, if Chicago calls the Lakeview neighborhood that caters mostly to gay guys "Boystown," why not call Andersonville "Ander-snatch?"

According to gaydemographics.org, the zip code 60660 has the highest concentration of lesbian couples in the city and the fifth highest in the country. Gay or lesbian, Andersonville is where couples come to nest. It's quite cozy around here.

The great thing about our neighborhood is the close proximity Vietnamese, Middle Eastern, lesbians, Lebanese, gay men and Swedish people live in. If you walk from Bryn Mawr to Foster on Clark Street you can easily hear all kinds of people speaking in several languages.

Whoa! I almost slipped on the ice there.

Although our neighborhood isn't as severely decorated for the holidays as some suburban homes in Chicago, it's still fun to see people get creative with their decorations. Still, I don't know why these folks thought lime green lights would look good in the front of their house. Lime green? Yuck. That is one ugly display. It makes some people's MySpace pages look elegant by comparison.

Some people just put up a Christmas tree by the window to say to themselves and the world "I am not that lonely this Christmas." It's kind of touching, but also odd to see these sad Charlie Brown trees peeking out from the windows like abandoned cats waiting for a more loving family to adopt them.

Be sure to check out the Flickr photo gallery "The Horrors of Christmas" that showcases the psychedelic and obscene side of the holidays. I love these sick and crazy holiday decorations, don't you?

The odd thing about Clark Street in Andersonville is the unusual number of Sushi restaurants per lesbian resident. In just a six block street I counted over SEVEN sushi restaurants. I know ladies like fish but come on! SEVEN?

I really love the wacky fundamentalist Philadelphia Church that looks like it was converted out of an old bank building. It even has a sign that harkens back to its history that states "Jesus Saves." It always reminds me to get a passbook savings account. They also decided to keep the big clocks but have removed the hands to remind the public that Armageddon can strike at any time. After all in Heaven (or Hell) time has no meaning. I've sat through some folk music shows and church services that felt like an eternity too.

Stargaze is known among some circles as the "lesbian prison bar" because it seems like women get dumped there after being released from prison. Everyone jokes that upon released from prison, they give you a token for a free drink there. True? Maybe not, but I wouldn't dare ask.

I love getting freshly made Italian cookies from Pasticceria Natalina. Natalina and her sexy husband Nick decided to open up the shop on a whim and make some delicious cookies. Honestly, this by far one of the best pastry shops in the city. They make everything from scratch with the finest, freshest ingredients. Their prices are a bit steep, but worth every penny. Try the cannoli, you won't be disappointed. If you stop there, flirt a little with her husband. He may act shy but something tells me he really likes the attention!

Our tour ends at Women and Children First Bookstore, one of the finest feminist bookstores in the country that regularly brings in fabulous female authors to sign and read their books there. Even Hilary Clinton has done a book signing there.

Thanks for joining us on my little tour of Andersonville!

To subscribe to the Feast of Fools podcast for free using iTunes, click here.

Her-rrro gay broggies! Me sucky sucky 5 dolla me lab yu long time 10 dolla you pay 20 dolla i gib free roost duck!

I really wanted to haul my fat ass downtown to take new photos + videos of good ol' third world scenery and play "show and tell" but I've been bedridden for the past few days. As much as I want to concoct some sad sordid story on how I contracted some sort of illness so you can sympathise with me and send flowers, I'm gonna go ahead and confess that I've been depressed and extremely lazy as of late and in the past 48 hours, all I did was eat (BINGE AND PURGE FTW!!!), smoke a lot, watch DVDs and catch up with my Gossip Girl and Ugly Betty iTunes downloads.

Enough dilly dally. Grand tour, eh? Grand tour of my hometown? Please. Let's not kid ourselves, shall we?

As some of you already know, I live in the cesspit of the third world called Manila, Philippines. Do you know where that is? Can I see a show of hands? No? Can you point it out on the map? Anybody? No? I'm not surprised.

The only time the world's media pay attention to my neck of the woods is whenever there are stories that involve the usual political turmoils, the never-ending corruption scandals, something about overpopulation, something about the poor -- or should I say, the REALLY POOR (because I'm poor... but there are millions more in terrible conditions compared to mine so I'll call them the 'really poor') or government officials gone wild. You'll also hear something about earthquakes, something about typhoons, something about flooding and other "acts of god", something about mall blasts or something about rebel groups such as Abu Sayyaf, Jemaah Islamiyah, Chukchakchenes Chorvaloo and of course, the SamMilby Pansclub Putanginangmasa Magpakamataynakayo Bulacanchapter etc. Just kidding.

Ask any non-Filipino living entity what they know about Manila or the Philippines and chances are, they'll say something about cheap booze and cheap brown coochie, 3-inch penises, poverty, Imelda Marcos and her shoes, and of course me. HAHAHAHA! I knew I had to say that. Why? Over the years, a shitload of Filipinos outside the motherland share their endless tales how strangers from other countries ask them where they're from and when they say "the Philippines", people then ask them if they know "Bryanboy". I shit you not! There was this time a French journalist went to Manila for reasons unknown to me (yeah, the same one who got cruised on by random faggots in my other story) and got to know a few showbiz faces here. When he got back to Paris, we had a little chat and he was all like "blah blah blah random actress, yaddi yaddi yadda random actor, are not famous but you are, because nobody in France had heard of them and even my other colleagues have heard of you".

Hearing things like this makes me giddy -- not only I put myself on the map, my country gets known to the rest of the world, too. Isn't that exciting? Right from the start I've always said geography is no boundary when it comes to Bryanboy's faggotry and world domination is my ultimate goal. Haha!

Ugh. This is becoming a me-me-me post. Enough about me and more about the land of the brown, the exotic and the natives!

Anyway, IMO there really is more about Manila (and the Philippines in general) compared to usual crap you read/hear on the news and the only way to find out is to get your fat ass ovah here to see for yourself. Manila may not rank high up there with the usual tourist heavyweights (why do most Americans go to friggin Acapulco or Cancun during summer or spring break when teenage Europeans flock Asia on their gap years? Bitch. Please.)... heck, I think Bangkok is more progressive than Manila, but still... this is the city I call home and I think you should still come over for a visit. I love my city even though it's crowded and over-polluted. I love my city even though the average guy here is fucking ugly and I could go sex-less for months. I love my city even though luxury goods are more overpriced compared to the rest of the world. It's one of those blood is thicker than water things... $8 haircuts? $40 facials? $1 for a packet of marlboros? Hella there's definitely no place like home.

On that note, let's play pictionary shall we?

Instead of giving a "virtual tour" (which I already did earlier this year on a different blog), let me share to you some hilarious old random snapshots taken in various parts of my town.

How can you **NOT** love a place where people look at **YOU** all the time??? Attention whores unite! Hahahaha! I love it!

This is what they were looking at...

BTW, don't believe that whole "Asian is skinny" bullcrap. Earlier this year, I did a little social experiment. I sat near the fountain in one of our malls.

I took random pictures of people in less than 5 minutes and and look how healthy and festively plump people here are!

And there you have it. God I love the third world, flaws, scars, anal warts and all. Just look at my shameless celebration of my personality. I bet you if you pull shit like I do in other countries you'd be lucky to come out alive!

The funny thing is that it's not unusual for people to tell me to get out of this shithole. Some people believe Manila is hopeless. I beg to differ. Folk from all walks of life often say things like I need to spread my wings and fly or how I don't deserve to be here or how I could grow more as a person if I live somewhere else. I can't even count the number of times I've had the opportunity to move elsewhere. While tens, if not hundreds of thousands of my compatriots seek greener pastures overseas year after year, for some strange reason, I've always chosen to stay here no matter what. Perhaps the right opportunity hasn't landed yet... or maybe, just maybe, in the grand scheme of things, I was really meant to be here and my purpose in life is to put the third world on the map and perhaps make a difference in my own, special little ways, right here, right now, in my own backyard.

What do you think?

My, my, my Manila!

PS. Roast duck, anyone?

PPSS. You may want to check out my friend Carlos Celdran's blog, http://celdrantours.blogspot.com. He knows Manila more than I know my way to a man's crotch. He's definitely a national treasure and he works his butt off day and night to change the way people view my lovely hometown of 14 million people. Yes!!! 14 Million rodents y'all, everyone loves bareback sex here!!! JK. :-)

Hey Folks! Craig from Puntabulous here! We're getting close to the end so I'm supposed to show you where I live. How exciting! I feel like I'm a contestant on the Bachelorette! Okay fine, it's more like Average Joe, but still! SIDENOTE: I wish they would bring back Average Joe. I loved that show! Remember at the end when the couple got into that huge fight because he found out she once dated Fabio? LOL!

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Mom! I said not to disturb me when I'm playing with my lightsaber!

Oh hey! Sorry, I didn't realize it was you! Come on in!

Please abide by all the rules while in my room.

Oh my! Did you just ask to look in my drawers?! Goodness you're making me blush!

Oh...those drawers.

Here's my underwear drawer...

Which is where I keep this thing in my sock...

A fancy floating hourglass! OooooOOOOoooooo!

Here's where I keep my razor in case I ever start growing facial hair.

Fingers crossed!

And here's my lightsaber. See! So it wasn't just a double entendre for masturbation before!

Finally, here's where the magic happens!

Actually, this is where the magic happens.

And this is where the magic ends up!

That's about everything! Don't be a stranger! I'm strange enough for the both of us!

Hope everyone had a fab weekend! We did over here at QCHQ. Woof! It's getting so cold!!! Thankfully my fur coat is growing longer-er by the day.

Those Important Moments were poignant, aren't they? Thanks for sharing, you guys.

But it's that dreaded time again, and Toby must dish out the results. At the end of Challenge 8: Most Important Moment here are our bottom 3 (in no particular order):

D.Michael, CitizenDangerX
Fausto Fernos, Feast of Fools
Craig, Puntabulous

The blogger with the lowest votes this round and therefore eliminated from the competition is:

D.Michael, CitizenDangerX

We are sad to see Michael go. =( We are getting down to the wire kiddies, and anyone who gets booted out at this stage will be painful as the mighty could begin to fall! Michael we will be in touch with your 5th place prize info soon! But before we get too maudlin, it's a great achievement to be in our Top 5. So hearty CONGRATULATIONS to Mike!