Gay Bloggies

I don't believe in 'guilty pleasures'. I really don't. I'm a generous person by nature so I always share to people whenever I have something good. Why keep little delightful things to yourself? Pleasures and indulgences are something to be proud of and we shouldn't be ashamed, or feel guilty, of anything that truly makes us feel good.

It's like meeting people (in real life) who read my blog. It's not unusual for folk to say things like "OMG BRYANBOY, you're my guilty pleasure!"

I say what, what? In da butt. What, what? Wanna do it in the butt? Let's party.

Guilty pleasure? Bitch please. What you're trying to say is that you like to read my blog but you don't want anyone to know about it?

Of course I'm not gonna tell that to their face because I'm nice and I want to go to heaven when I die.

You see, I'm all for shameless self-promotion and I rely on others to spread my gospel so hearing people say I'm their "guilty pleasure" is a small blow to my huge ego. I mean, it's flattering and all (and I'm truly thankful they read my site) but hella I want people to share me to their friends. I don't want them to keep me to themselves! I want people to forward my site, my silly pictures and my online antics to their co-workers, schoolmates and family. I want them to say things to random strangers about me. Why? It's all part of my master plan of world domination. I suffer from a severe, really really really severe case of ADD and I get depressed whenever I don't hear/read/see anything that's being said about me.

I'm sure you got the jist of what I'm trying to say so let's leave it at that.

What are MY "guilty pleasures"?

There's way too many to list in this blog entry so I'll share some of my favourite (and lesser-known) ones. I'm honestly the most shameless son of a bitch on the face of the planet, at least to my knowledge, so most of my readers already know a few things, thanks to my loud mouth, but hey, there is always someone out there who doesn't know any better... or anything... so here goes.

Bryanboy's Guilty Pleasures
(in no particular order)

1. Heterosexual Creampie Porn
The word "creampie" says it all. While geriatric women get off with jack rabbit vibrators and Mills & Boon romance novels, I for one love to indulge with creampies. I've been hooked on this shit for years. Google is your best friend if you don't know what creampie means... please be 18+ and older before you start clicking some links and whatever you do, be sure to avoid the word "housewife" otherwise you're in for a shock. Nothing beats watching a hole get pumped with hot, thick, creamy white population paste. The more, the merrier! As I've mentioned in one of my previous entries, my favourite movie is "65 Guy Creampie" starring Ariana Jollee. That whore is the luckiest cunt EVAR and I would totally watch her film over and over and over and over and over and over if I had all the time in the world. Watching chicks get creampied is so much better than watching a hairy-arsed fag do it. I mean seriously... aren't you (just a wee bit) curious what it's like to let 65 Eastern European bloc peasants use your hole as a cum dump? I am! Think of the mixed-raced babies aka Chanel of babies!

You can laugh all you want but hey, I love this sort of crap. Our tastes change over time. I'm sorry but watching 2 guys fucking before shooting cum on their face/mouth is soo dull I would probably get more excitement watching Planet Unicorn. I'm someone who spent his childhood years printing stories from Nifty.org during the glorious days of 28.8k US Robotics modems and hiding them underneath the matress. If you've been on the internet THAT long, I'm sure y'all started at Nifty. Can I see a show of hands? One? Two? Does Tommyhawk and Kevinmjo ring a bell? Ten sets of hands?

2. Mincing
Mincing, to me, is an art form. Every young queen over the age of 13 should master the art of mincing. A lot of flamers these days are soo misguided they think all it takes is a broken wrist, a crop top and some glitter before they hit the streets but no, it takes wayyy more than that. In this day and age of Fashion TV (FTV), video iPods, YouTube and downloadable fashion shows from the runways of New York, Milan and Paris, it's totally inexcusable for someone to just walk the streets unprepared. I for one like to download music they use on the runways, watch some of my favourite catwalkers (Natasha Poly, Mariacarla Boscono, Tanya Dziahileva) and try to incorporate their fierceness in my life.

The next time you walk the roads, bring your ipod with you and play some high energy music. Keep your back (and your face) straight, your hip bones jutting out and walk like a bullet train (think New Yorker speed; walk, not run) ... one foot in front of the other. And please... for the life of god, keep your arms and wrists in place. One trick is to put one hand in your pocket and use the other arm to guide you. Do not, under any circumstances stop... or care... about your surroundings (except for moving vehicles, duh). Just go from point A to point B with one heck of a fierce walk. Need an example? See for yourself. Look at the first girl who goes on the runway on this vid (Tanya) and you'll know what I mean.

Just remember: whatever you do, life is a runway. Every day is a fashion show and the street is your catwalk.

3. Internet Trolling
Everyone loves a good ol' internet troll. EVERYONE! Trust me on this. Whenever I'm bored out of my skull or whenever I have the spare time, I troll away at my favourite discussion forums. I'm not your typical troll though. I like to go to online forums where the audience is 100% opposite of me -- think heterosexual fat hairy losers in their 20s into cars, beer, Megan Fox, tits etc. In fact, I love those car forums. I really do. I like to create threads where I post some of my provoking gay-ass totally flaming, totally trantastic pictures and ask silly questions like, "WOULD YOU HIT IT" or "OMG I GOT HIT BY A TRUCK AND NOW I'M IN A WHEELCHAIR" or "HAY GUYS HOW DO I LOSE 10 POUNDS I'M OBESE". Sure they will hurl all the "faggot" insults at you but hey, these straight guys are a great tool for viral marketing -- they are WORSE than women when it comes to forwarding shit and y'all know I love it when people spread shit about me. The next time you corrupt a fat geek from the Midwest US of A who, think how many times he'll post your picture on various other online forums with your link on it with the caption "OMG LOOK AT THIS FAG".

I don't do this as much as I used to because once you get people hooked on you, they'll check your site as often as possible to see what you're up to and spread your gospel to the rest of the world. Remember what I said on how every move I make is calculated with extreme precision? Well, there you have it. Hah! I can't believe I'm revealing secrets. Oi Vey! God damn a Public Relations firm should just hire my fat ass stat!

4. Craigslist Bareback, Raw and Skiing
Craigslist used to be fun until my IP address got banned. I think they caught me on my amateur antics after I wrote about them on my blog. Now I can't even go there and to think, the NYC and SFO forums are AMAZING! Shame on me. Because I'm the most insecure bastard in the world, I like to post ads there with my pictures to see what kind of guys I attract. You know, for curiosity's sake. Sometimes I would post an ad saying "18 year slim guy needs dominant top under 35" using my "straight acting" pictures (we all know I fail in straight acting... and I fail in life) and sometimes I would post ads saying "SPERMINATE ME!!!! Let's make babies!" under T4M using pictures of me wearing a blond wig during an old Halloween party. There's this time when I got like 481 responses in a span of 3 hours. Can you believe it? Either I'm one hot bitch or everyone is just gagging for some anal action.

I don't know what it is but it's soo hilarious (and hot) looking at pictures of all these guys telling me what they want to do to me and talking dirty to me.

5. Damn Gaysians Hungry For White Cock
In the third world, being white is so prized everyone will do anything just to get themselves pumped by caucasian DNA. It really opens doors. A lot of doors. I get dozens upon dozens of emails from third world people asking for email addresses and contact information of people who appear on my site. It's crazy! Like I'm gonna give it to them. Here's another one: I once read this blog of a gay European journalist who visited Manila and when he went to this gay place, he got mobbed by like dozens of guys throughout the night asking how he is or whether he wants a drink or not -- people who don't know him. Stories like this are far too common. No wonder old caucasian pensioners go here as soon as they get their first retirement check. Anyway. About a year ago, a British friend and I did a little social experiment on a popular gay personals site in the flips to test it out. We made a profile using his photos (we said he's 6'2 but in reality he's 5'4 LOL) and within hours, our mailbox got so full with messages from all these brown fuckers. The responses range from the banal to the outrageous. On our second experiment, we made another profile with photos of a more, errr, mature man. Same thing. I was going to write an entry on my blog with responses and the pictures of the people who replied and then I felt guilty because some of these folk probably read my website. The desperation is hilarious... and entertaining... and sad, all at the same time. Some were clearly money boys. They're young and not bad at all and whenever we ask silly questions like "have you ever tried fisting? I'd love to fist you... how much would it cost" followed by pictures of fist fucking and then get answers like P1,500 (US$30) for the entire night and willing to do "everything", man, I don't know whether to cry or laugh. Oh who are we kidding, we're mean gurls so we laughed. Hah! I know, I know, we should be ashamed of ourselves but hell, we're all going to hell anyway so why not have fun in this lifetime?

It's sad though. It also didn't help the fact that most of the guys on that site are major fugs. Why don't you go online and look up Filipino gays (in the Flips) and most of them are fugly. FUGS! There are cute ones alright but they've got issues: either they're not out of the closet, they're taken, they're in showbiz, they're gay for pay or worse, they're in showbiz AND they're gay for pay. LOLers. I'm not hating. I know we're all beautiful in our own little ways but we only say that in order to look nice to people. Just kidding. You know, every time people from other countries see what gays in my country look like they always tell me I'm the hottest brown whore they've seen! For real. I swear to god. I can't even count the number of times I've had friends come over the years and naturally, they want to pull someone but they end up disappointed and who gets to suck cock? I do, which is sad. Hahaha. Just kidding. Yes I'm full of myself and being pretty has a price. A lot of my gay compatriots think I'm fugly but you know what, when the rest of the world loves you, who cares? There's only one thing to say to sum it up: BIG FISH, SMALL POND. I, on the other hand, well... fuck them damn fish... I'm MS Freedom of the Seas, the world's largest passenger vessel! Bring me the head of a third world gay guy who thinks I'm sexy and I'll pay you a pretty penny! I'M UNDERGOING A SEVERE CASE OF DROUGHT AND SOMEONE HAS TO PUT A STOP ON THE DRY SPELL! Hahaha!

Look at them gaysians and how they're all happy and then look at me how I'm a miserable queen! LOL

I know I'm gonna get hated by them exotic jungle birds but I still love them no matter what they look like (in fact, I love anyone regardless of what they look like; black, brown, periwinkle or chartreuse, I'm an equal opportunity lover!) because ultimately, I'm still one of them natives. My dad have always taught me to love my own. Except I'm queen of the fuglies! I need their -- YOUR -- damn votes assholes! LOL.

Email me and tell me you love me! My email address is bryanboy@gmail.com.

I love you all, as always.