Gay Bloggies

The results are in for Challenge 4: Vanity Shots. We hope you enjoyed the photos, however self-loving that was (hey, we have to after all those smut on QC right?) We have 2 surprise contestants at the bottom 3 this time. Unpredictable, but here are our bottom 3:

Richard, Proceed At Your Own Risk
Fausto, Feast of Fools
Dan Renzi, How Was Your Day, Dan?

The blogger with the lowest vote count is Richard. We thought Richard put in alot of effort into taking those shots even though he had admitted he wasn't that fond of the Challenge (a healthy sense of humour saves the day!), and we particularly like how he had some tongue action on us! Thanks for the participation, Richard. We'll see you around the block.

Oooh, Toby lurves the camera! I like to cock my lil furry head to one side and turn on my doe wide eyes for a snap or two! That look works very well with the guys at QC. I earn my treats the easy way!

Seeing that it's Thanksgiving weekend for most, we decided to go lite on the Challenge and let the boys go heavy on their turkeys! Erm... that didn't come out right... anywayz! We tasked the boys to ham it up for the cameras!

Challenge 4: Take Vanity Shot(s) of Yourself Incorporating the Colour Orange or QC's Logo, or Both! You May Post As Many Photos As You Like

Say Knob Cheese!

We're collecting Thumbs action for the next two days (ends 27th November), so vote away to keep your favourite/funniest/besterest blogger in the game!

Over Thanksgiving, we went to my Uncle Bill's ranch in Stockdale, Texas (an hour east of San Antonio). As we drove up to the ranch, there were dozens of burnt orange Longhorns grazing on the front lawn. Orange Longhorns! BURNT orange. We just had to take pictures and shoot videos of these fabulous beasts to share with you.

The huge Longhorn steers looked suspiciously at us as we approached them with broken pieces of orange pumpkin to feed them. Did they eat them? Watch the video below and find out the amazing effect the color orange has on cattle!

Craig from Puntabulous here! This challenge is all about vanity shots including the color orange. I'm not so sure about the vanity part, but a challenge involving the color orange? I am SO there!

This is my pet dinosaur Felice.

His name is Felice because he looks like a phallus.

He's so cute, I could eat him up!

If they allow gay marriage, marriage with animals would be next. Me and Felice would totally get hitched.

Felice tells awesome knock knock jokes. "I thought you were gonna say banana again!"

We like doing the robot together.

He has accidents.

Bad dinosaur! Baaaaad dinosaur!

But I love him anyway.

And here's my vanity one. Look at that sexy lighting! And those bedroom eyes! Oh baby!

The fools at QUEERCLICK challenged us to post photos of ourselves incorporating their logos. I wondered how an elderly "stocky" bald polar bear could compete photographically with all of the other barely post-pubescent bloggers, hot young studs with abs and tight behinds, not yet ravaged by gravity and decades of self-indulgence. The answer hit me like an Islamic suicide bomber: scare the crap out of all of you.

Remember, I know where you live, each and every one of you. This knowledge magically comes with the white beard and the pot belly. (Just ask Santa.) And like Santa, I'm a stalker. And note to the fools of QUEERCLICK: Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it

And I figured who gives a crap about dignity at my age when there's a cornucopia of free porn to be won.

I almost had a coronary when we were asked to take photos of ourselves wearing orange. I know I could strip down to my birthday suit and use a huge-ass orange (as in the fruit) to cover my cock and balls but I'm no cheap trick; we sophisticated ladies like to keep our clothes on, thank you very much. The thing is, I don't have a lot of orange pieces in my closet -- just a few basics such as a shirt, shorts, a sweater, whatever. I don't know about you but orange is probably the least flattering colour EVER. At least on me.

If you look closely, I think you can see a cameltoe. I love a good ol' cock and ball torture AND keep it within the realms of vanilla.

Now you see it, now you don't.

Crotch shots are so not lady-like. Leave it for sluts. I have a reputation to keep, thanks very much. LOL.

Whenever I post pictures of myself on my blog, people always react... or ask questions, especially the new readers. I think it's all good. I get questions like "who takes your pictures?" or "what on earth are you thinking?" or "why do you have to take lots of pictures?". Some people even demand new pictures every day. A lot of folk don't understand it takes a lot of work... I mean, it's easy and all (and I love it... it's fun) but the effort to go out there with a cute outfit, take snaps, crop the pictures, etc is crazy. I wish it was just as easy as taking a few pictures and posting them online but it's not. Also, I'm not photogenic. I may love the camera but the camera doesn't love me, so there. With a mug like mine, I have to take a dozen or so pictures before finding THE right shot... and sometimes, I don't even get THE right shot at all, especially on a bad day.

Case in point:

Sometimes, the pictures are so hideous -- the poses are all wrong or my limbs look disproportioned (legs too short, arms too long, arms too short, legs too long, etc) or worse, I look fat. What am I gonna do, post a half-arsed mediocre pic? Look at this photo for example. I don't know what's scarier... is it the outfit or the stare?

And to be quite honest, that photo is the best one out of the entire set... and I got that shot the first time I tried it. The rest are just plain ol' horrible.

So yeah.

It happens ALL the time. Whenever I take pictures of myself, I don't take 1 or 2 lousy pictures. I take a hundred or so. Hahaha! I swear to god, I must have at least 40,000-50,000 pictures of myself in my computer but only a few thousand or so make it online. It's fun though. At the end of the day, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is nice might be shitty with someone else and vice-versa. But who cares? Pictures, to me, are like memories, so even if they're shitty they say a lot of things. When I get older, like 80 years old, I want to look back at memories of me when I was young, fugly mug shots and all, and say "oh wow, so this is how I looked when I was younger."

I love you all, as always!

In case you hadn't figured it out from my other postings, I am far too bashful to post a "vanity photo" of myself, so I hope you enjoy this moment instead: I am out dancing in my best cowboy couture, I see the paparazzi coming, and I quickly pull out my huge QC-signature-orange sign that I keep with me always to block the flashes. Boo-ya, grandma!

My precious cat Anderson Pooper loves Queerclick, too:

He's also saying, "Vote for Frank! !! omg blog !! is the best!"

Only I speak his language, so you'll have to trust me on both counts. And in case you didn't hear the cat, please give me the thumbs up and help me win the big cash money! xo Frank

Challenge 4: Post Vanity Shots Of Yourself that include the QueerClick orange color or the QueerClick Logo (or both)

VANITY PHOTOS!?
THIS CHALLENGE WAS DESIGNED JUST FOR ME!

Well... or so you'd think. Because OMMFG... I LOVE self-portraits! And I love Carly Simon AND Vanity Smurf but not so much Danity Kane, or candy canes. Oh, oh, oh! I love Carol Kane though! You know, in that movie and she's all "DR. MANDRAKIS? DR. MANDRAKIS?" and the policeman is all "THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!" Aargh! It was SO SCARY. Frankly I may be on a bit of an eggnog high... so don't mind me, just read on. =)

The thing is, I had a tough time with this challenge. I don't know if the idea that i had to shoot to a particular parameter felt limiting, or just the fact that I started to feel like my work looked crappy when I added the QC logos. Perhaps it is the whole idea of creating-on-demand.

I don't particularly look good in orange, though this one time, I did a spray-on tan at a salon, and I guess that was OK. In fact I looked pretty good for being clearly fake orangey-tan. Except the crack of my ass was white. I guess you are supposed to "spread" when the machine sprays back there. Oops!

In any event, I humbly submit my entry... let me know what you think! (Somebody pass the eggnog!)

I would be asleep at the wheel if I didn't post this after the reference to it earlier. (I even put it in a little orange frame. You can't beat the little details, right?) Enjoy!

Just a reminder... if I win the 1st or 2nd prize, I will be donating 50% of the post-tax cash prize amount to charity. (25% to the American Lung Association, 25% to AMFAR, The Foundation for AIDS Research.) If I win any other cash prize I will be donating the full amount to the American Lung Association.

Not voting for me is like giving a thumbs-up to cancer and AIDS. You aren't THAT evil... are you?