Gay Bloggies

So we were tasked to introduce ourselves. Hello. My name is Craig, and I write the blog: Puntabulous.

Wait, you want more? Fine.

The main thing you should know about me is that I'm a dork. The biggest dork you'll ever meet in your entire life. I know what you're thinking: "You're just saying you're a dork to make yourself look endearingly cute." To which I reply: "You think I'm cute?!" Swoon! And then you're like: "That's not what we said." And I ignore you.

You need specific examples of my dorkiness? Fine.

1. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a paleontologist when I grew up. I know what you're thinking. What's the big deal? Every kid wants to be a paleontologist when they grow up at some point. It's right up there with veterinarian and astronaut as every kids' dream job for a week. But you see, I actually went to school to be a paleontologist. I was a geology major with a concentration in biology. I implore you to find a dorkier major than geology. And if that wasn't bad enough, me and my geology friends put the phrase "Geology Rocks" on the top of our graduation caps. Hells to the yeah. Oh! And ask me if I'm currently a paleontologist. Go ahead. Ask me. Nope! Not a paleontologist. After graduation I entered the real world, went back to school to get a Masters in Business, then got a real job.

2. I easily fall in love with literary figures. Now you see, falling in love with literary figures wouldn't be so bad if they were respectable literary figures such as Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice or whoever Richard Chamberlain played in The Thorn Birds. But I primarily read Star Wars books, so I fall in love with characters like Anakin Solo (Han and Leia's third child, obvs!). In my defense, I bet Jedis are amazing in bed.

3. I put entirely too much thought into making up new words, including "polytonous". You know, like "monotonous", but with a "poly" instead of a "mono". For example:

Person A: "One time I peed in one of those Chuck E. Cheese ball pits. I was 37 years old at the time."

Person B: "What's a ball pit?"

Person A: "You know, those big bins with all the polytonous balls in it."

Person B: "Oh yeah! Dude, you're gross!"

If a large group of similar objects can be monotonous, why can't a large group of varying (yet somehow similar) objects be polytonous?

So I think that paints a pretty clear picture of the person I am. If you need more examples of my dorkiness, please note that a) My eyebrows are enormous, b) I'm 26 and live with my parents, c) I sleep in a twin bed, d) I've never had a boyfriend, e) I have the soundtrack to Battlestar Galactica on my iPod.

Enough said.

Check out my blog: Puntabulous