So for the past 5 years, my New Year's resolution has been to come out to my parents. Turns out 2007 was finally the year! That's great! The bad part? Now I have to come up with a new New Year's resolution! Ugh! What am I possibly supposed to give up? There's so many things I'm doing wrong! Nothing THAT wrong of course. This challenge would be a lot easier if I ate babies or something. Then I could just say that my New Year's resolution was to stop eating babies, and everyone would be like: "That's an excellent idea! Thumbs up!" But I don't, so I need some help.
That's where you come in. I'm gonna go down a list of things that could be my New Year's resolution and you need to tell me which one it should be. To help you, with each resolution, I'll include either a celebrity Role Model or Troll Model to use as inspiration for each of my resolutions.
Celebrity Role Model: Celebrity who I use as an example of what to be.
Celebrity Troll Model: Celebrity who I use as an example of what NOT to be.
Resolution: Give up Manhunt.net.
Discussion: Let's get one thing straight, I don't meet people off of Manhunt, I just like to look at the pretty pictures. And you know, maybe a little flirty flirt chatting, but that's harmless, right? Yeah, but then I start browsing on the train rides home on Mobile Manhunt (which requires a... dare I say it... paid subscription), and that's when I realize that I might have a problem. But keeping myself busy on Manhunt prevents me from falling asleep on the train and missing my stop! That's a good thing, right?
Major Benefit: Less time on Manhunt = More time reading books.
Celebrity Troll Model: Clay Aiken
Why him? Look at the mess he got himself into because of his online debauchery! But then again, if I had sex with someone on Manhunt, and they took it public, no one would care. He'd be all like: "I had sex with Craig from Puntabulous!" and everyone would be like: "Who?" and he'd say: "Craig from Puntabulous!" and everyone would be like: "Who?" It would go on and on for a while, and then people would lose interest. The only major news outlet that would report the story would be Fox News just to show how sexually deviant gay people are.
Resolution: Look up words I don't know in the dictionary when I come across them while I'm reading rather than skipping over them and never knowing what they mean.
Discussion: It's not like I'm reading Shakespeare or anything, it's usually Star Wars novels, so I should be able to understand all the words. Skipping over words is lazy and doesn't teach me anything.
Major Benefit: I'll seem smarter at dinner parties. You know, in case I ever get invited to dinner parties.
Celebrity Role Model: Jodie Foster.
Why her? I don't know for a fact that she looks up words she doesn't know, but she always seems pretty smart. I bet she does. And then maybe she can model herself after me and come out of the closet.
Almost: I almost chose the guy who played The Architect in Matrix Reloaded, but I bet he doesn't even know what half the words he said meant either.
Resolution: Go out more.
Discussion: I enjoy drinking. Why not go out to places that specialize in drinking? Bars! But in order to do so, I must convince my friends that a night together doesn't always have to include Wii or Guitar Hero. But they're all straight. Maybe I should just go out to a gay bar and make some gay friends for once? Ugh, I hate gay people though.
Major Benefit: I could meet Mr. Right!
Celebrity Troll Model: Julia Roberts
Why her? Seems like she hasn't left her house since Mona Lisa Smile. What? Was she too busy to be in Oceans 13? Loser. And now she's back with that stupid looking Tom Hanks movie, and we've long lost interest in her. If I don't leave the house more, that could happen to me! Kinda.
Resolution: Quit sucking (figuratively).
Discussion: This is just a preemptive measure to beat any commenters who feel they need to leave the comment: "Your New Year's resolution should be to quit sucking so much! Assface!"
Major Benefit: No one likes sucky people. Especially agitated commenters.
Celebrity Troll Model: Chloë Sevigny in Brown Bunny.
Why her? She proved that sucking (literally) publicly is never a good thing.
Resolution: Exercise more.
Discussion: It's not like I'd have to start lifting weights or anything. Running would do. Geez, could you imagine me lifting weights? Besides, I look terrible in sleeveless shirts, which I assume I'd have to start wearing if I were to start lifting weights.
Major Benefit: I'll be better prepared when I turn 30 and my prepubescent metabolism slows down and I need to start fighting the bulge.
Celebrity Role Model: Andy Roddick.
Why him? Because as his Men's Fitness cover proves, he is able to grow amazing muscles with the least amount of work on his part. That's a work out (and a tennis player) I can get behind!
So which one do you guys think I should make my New Year's resolution? I'm leaning towards the "Exercising More". Exercising would help me out with most of my other resolutions. If I start running it would 1) give me less time to spend on Manhunt, 2) force me to spend more time out of the house, 3) make me look hot for when I find Mr. Right, 4) make me suck slightly less.
But it wouldn't teach me any new words. Oh the dilemma!
I sympathize with you're not wanting to gay bars ... gay people do suck. I hate the gay bars in my city.
I do have a solution to your dilema. You could get one of those vocabulary builder tapes and listen to that while you exercise. Or you could make more than one resolution.
I vote for exercise more, you also will have the chance to meet Mr. Right. He might just be jogging beside you...
I think that fate has determined you must expand your vocabulary.
Jodie Foster officially came out of the closet this week! She and her partner Cydney have been together since 1993 and she finally acknowleged this publicly.
And personally, I think a broad vocabulary is sexy! Forget muscles and Manhunt... Exercise your brain and titillate your synapses. This will make your more adorable than you already are.
Wow.. how vapid. We should chose your resolution for you? Perhaps you should have started on resolution number four sooner because this post sucked.
Exercising does sound like an overall good idea but in the end, what's worth more to you? A hot body that hypnotizes passers by and forces them to do your bidding or a sharp vocabulary that could cut down Obi Wan like tissue paper? Some suggestions:
- Jog with a dictionary in hand, it's not very practical but you can always call it a free weight and paint it neon yellow... plus, it makes you look extra smart, you're too busy to SIT and read the dictionary- time is money!
- Pay children to wear t-shirts with new words embroidered on their back as you chase after them... actually that's just kind of creepy so instead of children make it dogs and/or rabbits
- Record yourself reading the definitions of words and listen to it as you jog, be sure to leave space for you to say the word out loud and use it in a sentence as you jog... "nerf-herder, noun, one who herds nerf... (pause) Nerf-herder (pause) what do you think you're doing you nerf-herder?"
Good luck with the bloggies!
I also vote for the last one. This is going to be mine also. I never exercise anymore, and when I used to it was a lot of fun. Just go with friends though, they make it worth it.
I vote for going out more! (It'll help with the Manhunt.net thing, too.)
I agree that exercise will solve most of your other problems, or at least make them more manageable.
Your language skills are fine. "Troll model" is hilarious and perfect. You've got my vote, as always.
Ok, Punt, listen... we'd all like to Mr. Right but here's the deal: he's out of your league. I mean, no offense or anything, but he's at the top of the scale and can get ANYONE. So, for starters you just have to be a prime specimen. If you're body type doesn't start with the golden mean and go up from there it's just not going to work.
Who YOU'RE looking for is Mr. Alrighty-Then. And because of this, I'm voting for the reading thing. See, if you hotty up, Mr. Alrighty-Then might think you're out of his league. But you still won't be in Mr. Right's league, so where does that leave you? I'll tell you where - tepid: too hot to be Refreshingly Normal for Mr. Alrighty-Then, not hot enough for Mr. Right. Do you want to be tepid? No, of course you don't.
Therefore, I vote for that new word thingy. 'Cause Mr. Alrighty-Then, having given up on abs, thinks smart is hot in a way that doesn't attract the attention of Mr. Right who might come steal anyone too hot on the outside. So here's a shortcut that I discovered the other day that'll help - if you read the NY Times online with Firefox, you can double-click on any word and it'll look it up in the online dictionary. Isn't that freakin' awesome? I've been reading it forever and never knew this. Use it. Good luck. Nice socks.
Later
-Glaber
I vote for expanding the vocab and going out more (just not to gross gay bars). Exercise is so overrated.
I vote "Go out more."
Working out and building vocab might payoff if you actually do them, but there is no guarantee you'll ever get any benefit. However, if you go out (to the right places, there are more types of bars then just the dreary gay dance clubs) then you'll actually have fun right away with no waiting.
I vote "Go out more."
Working out and building vocab might payoff if you actually do them, but there is no guarantee you'll ever get any benefit. However, if you go out (to the right places, there are more types of bars then just the dreary gay dance clubs) then you'll actually have fun right away with no waiting.
Also, how the hell did I miss Jodie Foster coming out?!?!
I'm all for the exercising with a dictionary/vocabulary tape thing. You could even forgo English and learn a new language! Do they offer Wookie-on-tape? That would make you twice as cool. And Exercise isn't just about getting a hot body, it's good for you. It means you are not at home eating cheez-its like me. (bad cheezy crackers, who let you in my room?)
I'm still stuck on your 2007 resolution...you had to come out to your parents??? They live with you right? And they didnt' know you were gay??? Are they blind, deaf and dumb? I'm suprised you were ever "IN" to them.
But anyways, this year, I say do all four! cutting down on Manhunt give you more time to read, which makes you a better converstaionalist, which helps in the gay bars...and the exercise....oh, hell what do I know, I'm a good 80 lbs overweight. But whatever, go for it Craiggers!
HUGS..
1- the manhunt thing...I only use free services, specifically gay.com and craigs list. They both suck, but they have lots of good pictures, and the local gay.com room has meet and greets in bars downtown. This gets me out of the house once in a while.
2-Learning new words. The problem with this is you usually don't learn how to pronounce them when you read them. This can cause major embarrassment, especially with French and Yiddish. Also, it interrupts the flow of your reading. Once you stop to look up a word, you have to start again, and if you are hungry, horny, or need to use the restroom, you might not get back to your book.
3-Go Out More...You are young, this is your moment. Just don't get caught DUI, and if you get lucky use a condom.
4-quit sucking... this is a handy time to list my unsolicited comment, which is to be wary of the advice of strangers
5- exercise more- the benifits of exercise are more mental than physical. Once you convince yourself that you enjoy exercise, you will find the time to do it.
I like the going out more one or go to the movies with someone again...wink wink..haha
For shame on the FoF fans. I want Fausto to win as much as you do, but is the negativity really necessary? Craig has clearly put a lot of thought into this post and it meets the challenge of the round. He has chosen to engage his audience just as Fausto has done, so by calling him Vapid, you do the same to Fausto.
I really expected better of you guys.
Another fun post, and you care about my opinion, how sweet - or maybe are just a wee bit dithery and indecisive, either way is kinda cute :-) I suppose the answer should be excercise more, but that sounds like work to me. I vote for expanding vocabulary, this will last long after the pecs have started their inevitable route southwards. Maybe you could combine it with your love of sci-fi, mix up the Star Wars with a little Aldous Huxley or Jules Verne for example?
You can read on the treadmill! Start exercising now so your metabolism doesn't hit a wall when you turn 30. You'll be in the habit of exercising, you'll be healthier, you'll be happier from the endorphins, and you won't wake up one morning wondering where the 50 pounds of beer fat came from. Take it from me! I learned the hard way...fast metabolism stops being an effective weight management tool really fast, and always comes as a surprise. Good luck!
You could non-suckily run around a gay bar with a dictionary.
Five for five.
I'm all about saying exercise more... since I think it will help you "get out" there a little more too. Maybe. LOL. But they all sound good... maybe try them all... One is sure to stick around, yes?
Craig! You are so awesome!
I would say exercising more because exercise is fun.
P.S., Don't listen to the douche who said you can't find Mr. Right or whatever (I am not actually sure what he said because I stopped reading after the first paragraph. That was one long ass comment). You are smart, funny, and very hot and can get any guy (well gay/bi guy).
Well-done, Craig! Well thought out and well-written. I have to agree with "Exercising more" because, well, I have to do that, too. Granted I'm almost old enough to be your... older brother... but hey-- I ain't getting any younger here!
This is a tough choice for me. I like you and I am fully behind Fausto. So I'm not going to say how I voted-- to protect the innocent (me). Best of luck on this round!
You're so adorable!
Maybe go with giving up the Manhunt. You're perfectly adorkable the way you are, so no need to go to the gym... and you've got a great vocabulary already. You could build your vocab on the train somehow. I did that with the GRE last year... *shudder*.
Was I the only one who gasped in disbelief in the "omg I hate gay people" comment??? I suppose it was completely visceral, but there's a backspace in a blog unlike spoken word.
As for me I'm torn between the dictionary/working out thing, though I can see the Mr. Alrighty-Then theory, honestly. Perhaps the reading thing is the way to go at at least until the bottom drops on that metabolism. I read next to an online or written dictionary and look the words up on-the-spot rather than later for context usage.....of course, I also haul my ass to the gym 3 days a week, but you take one step at a time!
I would say exercise more.
The going out more will follow and the better vocabaulary might follow suit!
Craig- What do I say here..... At first I was not impressed with your asking us to come up with your New Years Resolution for you. After reading all the responses though, I decided that there is enough negativity in this world and I agree with most of the positive feedback. My thought, keep all 5 as your resolutions and have a kick butt year. Also, in comment to Glaber’s comment - Just because he gave up on finding Mr. Right, does not mean you, or anyone else for that matter, have to. The whole "Who YOU’RE looking for is Mr. Alrighty-Then” is a crock of S**T. For one, Mr. Right to Glaber would most likely be someone completely different than your Mr. Right. And therefore, for two, I completely believe that there is a “Mr. Right” for everyone. All in all, keep all 5, have a Kick butt year, and don’t listen to negative A’holes that want to bring you down!!!
New Year's resolutions are all fine and everything, but I don't think you need much improvement (though exercise is a good thing, even if you are naturally slim). Best of luck!
mmmm, excersising is good for the body but giving up Manhunt is good for the spirit! It's totally exhausting putting yourself out there all the time. If you gave it up then you would naturally end up working on things like reading, looking up words in the dictionary and going out to gay bars. But - seriously - if you do this I hope you already like ABBA. I'm just sayin.
Plus! Plus! They SAY that when you stop looking is when you "find" them. ...I'll let you know if it's really true in a few months.
Okay so don't give up on manhunt.. (I mean we all need a little something-something every once in a while).
I say go out more. I'm in the same boat as you and I'm trying not to get stuck in the house on weekends (yes, unfortunately, I'm 24, in shape and decent looking yet I stay in with the dog on Friday night). Going out it will help the rest of the others in the long run.
Craig, go for the exercise! Physical AND Mental!...
Your post was by far the most entertaining. I found the F's post to be too self promoting! I thought this post was supposed to be about A NEW YEARS Resolution?
and as for the other guy? why is he STILL here?...lol Thumbs Up for you again!
First off, you are too cute and quirky; DON'T change!
It's why I read you.
Second, yes gay bars suck, but no one is holding a gun to your head to make you go to them. Be nice. You really don't hate gay people, do ya?
Thirdly, why do you feel the need to exercize? No offense, but we've seen your 'caboose'. . .muy caliente! Maintain it, okey-doakes. But not everyone is Bob Paris, yet they have the ambition. A wise child knows his parameters, Dorothy Gale; realize yours before a tornado snatches yuz up and yer skipping with three goofies down a yellow brick road.
H's and K's,
Tom
I say give up Manhunt. Just for the fun of it. Come on now, who really keeps them? So, have some fun with it this year...
oh man ... the manhunts haunts us all ..
tooooooo cute ....
“YOU ARE THE BEST EVAR!!!11!!! YOU ARE SOOOOO GONNA WIN!!!”
“YOU ARE THE BEST EVAR!!!11!!! YOU ARE SOOOOO GONNA WIN!!!”
“YOU ARE THE BEST EVAR!!!11!!! YOU ARE SOOOOO GONNA WIN!!!”
“YOU ARE THE BEST EVAR!!!11!!! YOU ARE SOOOOO GONNA WIN!!!”
“YOU ARE THE BEST EVAR!!!11!!! YOU ARE SOOOOO GONNA WIN!!!”
“YOU ARE THE BEST EVAR!!!11!!! YOU ARE SOOOOO GONNA WIN!!!”
“YOU ARE THE BEST EVAR!!!11!!! YOU ARE SOOOOO GONNA WIN!!!”
7 times for luck, I guess it is up to me to be the trashy fan. :(
Although, being trashy could have a plus side, think about all the money I would save on make-up and product when doing drag. BTW, Thumbs Up!
good one. one vote from me.
Improve your vocabulary, exercise is boring.
I like this blog! I say go for the Julia Roberts resolution. I need to do that one too, but the only problem is I'm not sure if I WANT to!
Craig,
I'd go with exercise. I wouldn't give the Manhunt up, though I have no idea why you would want to pay for a dating website.
The exercise helps to turn you from adorkable to hottie (and still adorkable), and I can personally say ever since I took the gym this year (it is my 2007 resolution) I was able to post better pictures (actually that's also thanks to my new Canon camera). I dated a lot more people this year, though sadly haven't found Mr Right.
All the best Craig, and keep posting on your New Year's resolution.
You should come running with me in the morning.
A fun night better damn well include Wii, or at least PS3.
Quit ragging MH, my only date in the last year came from there... it was awful... but still... the idea is nice.
You need to get out more, dear. Maybe not to gay bars, but somewhere! You also need to find a better group of gay men. Really, all men are doots, but some make it into a profession. However, I know quite a few really nice fellows who by-the-way are gay. And most of these guys don't play a whole lot of Wii or Guitar Hero. You are young, and that is a tricky time in the life of a man. Sometimes that transition from boy to man hits a snag, gets stuck in the video game room or something. Independence and productivity don't move up the priority list at the rate they should. Balance, moderation, consideration for others- all good goals for life. Having role models and mentors helps a young man to develope these qualities. Getting out of the house helps a young man to increase the potential for meeting fellows like that. Improving your vocabulary also increases the potential for meeting people who are wise. I like what some of the other comments say about a smart man being inherently sexy. I agree with that opinion. Youthful beauty fades. Even Dick Clark finally looks old. Smarts outlast beauty every time.
Haha I like that idea of chasing children who wear tshirts with new words in them.
Go Craig!
Blah Blah Blah. What a wimpy complainer. Be a man.
Exercise is good. Going Vegan is better!
Manhunt? Dudesnude is free.
FoxNews should do a story on how deviant str8 people are. O'Reilly transcripts anyone?
I plan on listening to the feast of fools ;) more. and the thing about the weight and the cutting down the drinking yadiyada