Gay Bloggies

Alright. Now that I've referenced Aretha Franklin... I can get this blog started!

The problem with a topic like "Being Gay: Nature Vs. Nurture" is that honestly... I don't care. citizendangerx does NOT do science. I have given as little thought into why I'm gay as why am I right-handed, blue-eyed, good at checkers and a huge fan of cheese. Is my love of sitting home on a rainy day listening to Joni Mitchell albums while hiding under a giant blanket, cruising Dude Tube and eating ice cream nature or nurture? Solve THAT puzzle, science!

So... in an effort to do my duty to the blog battle and bring some sort of light to this topic, I enlisted a group of friends (gay, straight and otherwise) to tell you what THEY think.

These are their own words...

DEANNA, 35
Hair Stylist
"I totally believe it's nature. I'll give you a short example...I have 2 clients. One has an identical twin and they are both gay. One with a long term partner, the other has been in a committed relationship for over a year. I also have another client who is one of 5 siblings and out of 5, 4 are gay. There's no way it's a choice. I don't believe that people would purposely want to live a harder life knowing that they will be discriminated against, fearful for their safety, etc. It's not a conscious choice it's in their make up when they're forming in the womb."

JESUS, 60
Military (Retired)
"Most definitely nature. I was always attracted to men... from very early on. However, due to upbringing never got to resolve my issues until I got quite older. I was 25 before I had my first experience sexually and was well hidden. A lot of obsessive but hidden wants were met by reading and visits to sex shops. I had a few more encounters... but did not accept myself as being gay until I was 40 and had real mutual sex with a man that also met my desire in a man."

EVELIN, 27
Baker
"According to some research done a little while back the brain chemistry of a gay man is more similar to the brain chemistry of a woman. This was not so for homosexual women, however. The fetus is "washed" with hormones in the third trimester of pregnancy and maybe this would explain why some girls are "butch" and some are not. A lot of homosexual women seem to have a traumatic experience early in their childhood that will "turn them off" to men. So...what I'm saying is that homosexuality is different for everyone."

GARY, 37
Sr. Project Manager
"Having been raised in South Africa in the 70's, my nurturing was far from anything tender. Life was rugged with a lot of outdoors, hunting, and harsh conditions. Childhood was limited to affection with a stern proper British up bringing. Hugs and Kisses where not on the daily agenda... I believe nature had dealt me a card that I really did not want. Is this card nature's way of population control or just a genetic anomaly – I don't know. Either way, this did not fit into my plan to blend in. My parents are still happily married. My brother was dating and happy, and now she is his gorgeous wife. Every social action growing up, parents and my brother all were role models for the straight path and the picture perfect society norm, but then there was this feeling I did not want. It became more and more clear as I could not deny it further and as I tried to live the social norm and blend in. I found myself emotionally feeling and wanting what is far from blending in and hiding in the shadows. A result of nurture, I don't think so, a result of choice, hardly so. Nature has dealt me what I am and through the friends I have had, in the end, whether it be nurture, nature, or choice, I find myself surrounded by good people and can look deep inside me and say, I am happy being out of the shadows."

DAX, 27
Education
"Homosexuality is nature. When I went celibate to determine if I was actually gay or not (basically dealing internally with this topic), I thought back to things I did as a child. Most of my thoughts of what I wanted when I got older was my "best friend" and me living together for years. There were no women, but we had children."

NATHAN, 26
Website Designer
"I've always known I am gay, even before I knew what "being gay" was. I remember liking boys as early as grade school. It's because of this that I'm even hesitant to use the word "homosexual". The key word there is "sexual", and I think it's a lot more complex than that. On a much larger, broader spectrum, I think we just know which gender we're attracted to. It isn't specifically sexual, although sexuality does play a big part in it as we get older. I've heard people say that you "become gay" because of your environment. In fact, I have a friend who is dealing with coming out right now, and he tried to play the card of "Oh, I didn't play sports, I didn't do many masculine things when I was a kid, so now I'm gay." That's just laughable. If that were the case, you have to look at the other side of it. There are many gay men who DID play sports when they were kids, and they did "masculine" things. Does that make them straight? Of course not. Often times, I think that people just need things to fit into a nice box that makes sense to them. It's easy to believe that we are molded into being gay, because that insinuates that something was done wrong when we were being raised. If something was wrong, then we can blame someone for all the things that are "different" about us. Life seems so much easier when we have someone or something to blame. The truth is that being gay is part of a very complex and wide spectrum. There are masculine gay people and feminine gay people, and all kinds in between. The end result is the same: we like what we like, and deep down, we all know what we like. The way we are raised and our environment does affect many parts of our character, and our lives as adults. But it can't make us gay. There are also gay parents who raise their children, and their children turn out to be straight. This only further proves that our parents and our environment does not change our preference. "

MARK, 38
Training and Development
"I absolutely believe it's nature. I knew I was "different" before I knew what "different" meant. When I was 10 years old I developed "special" feelings for Gil Gerard from Buck Rogers in the 25th Century. While my mom was a fag hag, and had many gay friends while I was growing up, I never felt that I was "groomed" into being gay. I still don't get how the right wing bigots can say that someone would actually "choose" to be gay - given the fact that persecution is almost guaranteed and in fact encouraged in many parts of the world."

So there you have it... a preponderance of peeps who think that being gay is caused by nature. Now... I'm gonna get back to the important stuff (my ice cream is melting.)