Gay Bloggies

I made it to the finals in the Gay Bloggies. I'm so excited. I'm about to lose control and I think I like it!

This week marks the 10th anniversary of blogs and from the looks of the entries in this contest alone, the future is brighter than ever. You've come a long way gay baby.

Way back in 1997, a hairy bear, Jorn Barger, editor of the first weblog, Robot Wisdom coined the term "weblog" to describe his process of "logging the web." He still thinks the best blogs to this day are those which look outward and link to sites of interest rather than focus on their own opinions. I don't necessarily agree with his opinion on other people's opinions, especially when it comes to gay blogs.

It's fun to get in someone's head for a little while each day. When you live outside the dominant paradigm like gays do you need something to relate to. That's part of the reason why gay blogs are among the most popular. People want that intimacy.

For gay people, blogs of a personal nature are vital to our sense of well-being. We need to hear each others opinions because for so long our opinions have been silenced. Many gay people still live in parts of the world where they have little access to any gay community.

Sharing your ideas, stories and opinions online is liberation baby! We may have a long ways to go but now we have the tools to get there. Oh, and the porn isn't too bad either.

For the first time in modern history we're entertaining and informing each other directly, one on one. The collective knowledge of our oral and written histories has a powerful impact on young people today. They get to grow up knowing full well the good, the bad and the ugly (and the beautiful) side of the gay experience.

Who is the real winner in the gay bloggies? Everybody! We all win because we are all here exchanging our thoughts and ideas about what it is to be gay, and that is going to make a difference for a long time to come.

For this last challenge I decided to ask once again the listeners of my talk show, Feast of Fools what are some of the questions they're always asking. Questions about me, podcasting, life, love and the nature of the universe.

Listen to my final Gay Bloggies BONUS podcast, joined by my partner Marc Felion as we try to answer as many questions as we can from you.

Click here to download the audio mp3 file (and play on your iPod.)
To subscribe to the Feast of Fools podcast for free using iTunes, click here.

Featured Music:
• Reuben Butchart - Golden Boy: iTunes | CD Baby | Amazon
• Chris Garneau - Music for Tourists: iTunes | Amazon | Site

The music featured on today's show is by two fabulously cute, sexy and openly gay musicians, Chris Garneau and Reuben Butchart. I had the pleasure of interviewing both of them on our talk show, and even had Chris come over to the home studio to play "The Island" a new song from his upcoming album. Here is a link to the video, and to my audio interview with him. Isn't he just adorable? Chris is just as kind, gentle and thoughtful in person as he is in his music. Having him in the home studio playing live was quite an experience for all of us. His songs and his voice carry an emotional strength to them, a wonderful simplicity that references old world lullabies and drinking songs.

Here are some of the questions we tried to answer. Got any more? Post them below and I'll try to answer them in the comments area.

Here are some questions answered:

Are your hair and eyes really blue?
Yes. It's not contacts. Part of my hair really is blue, but I have to make that happen. For the past three years, I've been bleaching out my hair and then putting in blue dye in to create the effect. But, I'm not alone in doing this. A good idea is a good idea.
HELPFUL LINK: Blue Haired Fans Gallery

Is Fausto Fernós your REAL name?
Yes, again! My mother named me after the title character in Goethe's book Fausto (translated into Spanish from Faust). The name comes from the German word "fust" which can mean victory, first or fist. My last name Fernós comes from the old Spanish word "fornos" which literally means ovens, to work with fire. I used to have the nickname "Johnny Storm" because I ate fire at the beginning of every live Feast of Fools show. Flame on!
HELPFUL LINK: How to eat fire.

Favorite movie quote?
"Don't f*ck with me fellas! This ain't my first time at the rodeo." - Faye Dunway as Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest. What a wonderfully insane film. Every time I get mad about something, I channel Faye Dunaway's indignant rage as Joan Crawford and then I don't feel so bad!
HELPFUL LINK: Mommie Dearest Mix

Why do you work so hard?
I bust my ass because I love what I do. When I was a kid I used to draw pictures of myself hosting my own talk show. I don't just see what I do as a job, I see it as a vocation. Plus, from time to time I get to talk to some really hot men. If my microphone could talk.
HELPFUL LINK: Podcasting: Do It Yourself Guide

Why can't I stop thinking about Britney Spears?
Because celebrities are beautiful, talented and fabulous people. It's not all hype. But why are we all gawking at some hillbilly pop-star as she stumbles around the stage? Because we like to see the tragedy unfold. Watching people like Brtiney crash and burn is our modern day morality story, it's our Shakespeare. Eek! She once was pretty and now she's a mess, but we still love her music. Record companies invest millions of dollars into these people's careers and they want to see a return on their investment. They don't always get it back. That's part of the reason why record companies are in such terrible shape these days, they hired a bunch of pretty on the outside but ultimately awkward people to sell records and they messed it up. Nobody bought Michael Jacksons's last album and Sony lost out. Everyone's buying Britney Spears latest album and so the beat goes on...
HELPFUL LINK: Britney's infamous "Gimme More" at the VMA's

How do I get my music played on your show?
There are currently around 13,000 radio stations in the U.S. which have ALL the music in the world to chose from and record labels spend millions of dollars every year to promote their music to these stations. Are they getting their money's worth? I don't know, but as you can imagine, it's not very easy to get your music played there. There are an estimated 36,000 podcasts currently listed currently on the iTunes Music store, and I would guess the number to be around 20,000 or so programs which regularly put out shows. If I were a musician who had a CD out and wanted people to listen to it, I would send a nice fruit basket to every podcast on the iTunes top 100 that plays music on their shows and bug them to play my songs. We're always looking for fabulous new music to feature on our show.
HELPFUL LINK: Feast of Fools Music Release Forms

What should I put in my blog, podcast or videos?
Put something that you find interesting! If you're into what you're doing, others will pick up on your joy and want to share in the fun. All the contestants here have a common passion for what they do. We all struggle, so please be kind in what you say on the internet. Unnecessarily trashing someone on the internet just because you can brings down everyone.
HELPFUL LINK: Manifest Your Potential

What's a secret to making a good video?
I don't really know, as I'm still learning to do it myself, but please don't be afraid to try it! Good audio and lighting can go a long way to making you look and sound flawless! A nice cheap idea is to use nylon Chinese lanterns for lighting yourself in the video. They cost next to nothing, and you can just stick in a really high wattage bulb in there. It's what I used to light myself for the "XXX-Mas Karaoke Medley" video.
HELPFUL LINK: Nylon Chinese Lanterns

If you had three wishes, what would it be?
One of those wishes would be for a whole cable channel that played nothing but "Planet Unicorn" cartoons. Come on Shannon, only five videos? Give it up for Feathers, Cadillac and Tom Cruise! They were so good, and you can plainly see from the public response that we're hungry for more. Gimme, gimme more. With all the pain and suffering in the world today, sometimes all we need to forget our troubles is a whimsical cartoon about a crudely drawn gay boy and his planet full of sassy gay unicorns.
HELPFUL LINK: Planet Unicorn

Why even bother?
There is always someone smarter, sexier and funnier than you, but there probably is also someone meaner, uglier and dumber than you. Don't get intimidated. I hope that our collective experience in the Gay Bloggies leaves all the visitors to the site hungry for more and go off on their own to create rich internet experiences. One great thing we have is our own community forums where we encourage people from all backgrounds to post their stories, ideas, videos, music and jokes. That part of the site is my pride and joy. Please post your stuff there.
HELPFUL LINK: Feast of Fools Community

Why is there pain and suffering in the world?
Because it makes sunshine, rainbows and lollipops all that more special. Maybe Buddists [updated link] have something going on with the idea that "desire is the source of all pain and suffering." We spend so much time being bombarded with ads trying to brainwash us into wanting some shitty underarm deodorant or new cola drink we forget to love ourselves and each other.
HELPFUL LINK: LOLcats Blog - I Can Has Cheezburger?

I want to thank the little dog Toby, Aussie Bum and all the sponsors for the opportunity to take part in the Gay Bloggies and allow me to express myself to a new and fabulous audience. I hope I win the top prize! As Liberace used to say at the end of his concerts, don't say goodbye, say "ciao!"

To subscribe to the Feast of Fools podcast for free using iTunes, click here.

As you know, the holidays can get a little chilly, so I decided to put together this medley of music to "make things nice and hot!"

No, I'm not quoting Tina Turner.

I came up with the song "Don't Care What I Get for Christmas" while in a long and boring car trip to the suburbs of Chicago. I wanted to make a sexy Christmas song, so I immediately thought of "roasting chestnuts." The song medley begins with the The Pointer Sisters "I'm So Excited" then leads to Blondie's "Call Me" and to the infamous "Disco Medley" by the fabulous 70s Philadelphia power group, the Salsoul Family Orchestra.

I put together this tacky and loud medley with the help of my good friend Taylor E Ross, a fabulous local musician. Taylor used to perform with me in the live Feast of Fools show where he was known as Link Pinks. I always thought that Link Pinks was an odd sounding name. It means to create a bond of trust by linking another persons pinky finger with your own. Regardless of his name, don't you think he looks good in pink? The photo was taken by my good friend Jason Smith.

Featured Music:
The Pointer Sisters - I'm So Excited: iTunes
Blondie - Call Me: iTunes
Mel Torme - The Christmas Song: iTunes
Clay Aiken - Winter Wonderland: iTunes
The Salsoul Orchestra - Christmas Medley: iTunes
Pointer Sisters - Santa Claus is Coming To Town: iTunes
Fausto Fernós & Taylor E Ross - Don't Care What I Get For Christmas: Site
Ella Fitzgerald - White Christmas: iTunes

Inspiration:
William Shatner - Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds: iTunes
Del Rubio Triplets - Winter Wonderland: YouTube

Credits:
Camera: Marc Felion
Audio Mixing: Fausto Fernós
Music Arranged and Recorded by: Taylor E Ross and Fausto Fernós
Guitar: Taylor E Ross

To subscribe to the Feast of Fools podcast for free using iTunes, click here.

The two-faced bitch I'm talking about is the Roman god Janus. The tradition of New Year's Resolutions, like most fabulous gay events, goes way back to ancient Roman times. The Romans believed a two-faced god, Janus, was a metaphor for looking back in time in order to gain insight into the future. You can imagine how sexy it would be to have a muscular Roman god with two mouths in the sack! I wonder how he looked naked. Woof! Yes, woof indeed!

To this day we celebrate in the beginning of January, a month named after the god Janus, by declaring how we're going to improve ourselves in the coming year.

But what's really going on here? Why do we do this? I think we react to the celebration of the oncoming year by trying to better understand who we are and how to love ourselves unconditionally. To me this doesn't necessarily mean accepting all your personal shortcomings 100%. It means understanding who you are at the moment, knowing where would you like to go and giving yourself the love to get there. It means challenging yourself to change.

As gay folks, I want to know how we can get a little more love into our hearts and maybe into other areas of the body so I opened up the voice-mail line (773) 681-3833 to the listeners to answer the question: "What is something specific that you're doing now to love yourself unconditionally?"

Listen to this podcast of my sweet husband Marc Felion and me, Fausto Fernós as we respond to your voice messages of unconditional love and get some insight from our fabulous friend Marsian De Lellis, a modern-day Truman Capote and fabulous artist. We regularly feature Marsian on our podcast Feast of Fools at the beginning of the New Year in order to get some insight of things to come.

Marsian's a pretty wacky guy who spends most of his time making tragic puppet shows about campy pop-culture icons. He was part of the very first Feast of Fools show ten years ago when it was an odd-ball variety show done here in Chicago. I love his sense of humor and think you might like it too. But I'm warning you, the guy earns his name Marsian.

Click here to download the audio mp3 file (and play on your iPod.)
To subscribe to the Feast of Fools podcast for free using iTunes, click here.

We're featuring some fabulous songs by the sexy indie rock musician Eric Himan. Isn't he just adorable? You can get his album "Everywhere All at Once" here: iTunes | Amazon | CD Baby | MySpace. So what are MY New Year's resolutions? Let's get REAL, most of them are probably the same as your resolutions. Maybe we should all just agree that every year we must all pledge an oath to get in shape, make more money, love more etc. It could be like the "Pledge of Allegiance" but only done on January first. Are you with me?

I think Dolly Parton and Amy Sedaris sum it up pretty well in the video for the song "Better Get To Livin.'"

But really, I do want to be closer to my family and friends, spend more time with them, gain a better control of my finances and get in really killer shape. Washboard abs here I come! Fuck Reichen! I'm so jealous of him. I too want to license my face and hot muscle ass to sell tacky titanium jewelry on the internet and call the product line "Podcast Naked."

In January I plan to expand our regular video podcast that features Marc and me discussing the odd news and social trends that cropped up in the week. I plan to improve our financial situation by securing more regular advertisers. I plan to clean up more, be on time, and make sure that I get to bed early at night.

I plan on doing fun things, like spending more time kissing and hugging my sweet husband Marc.

I plan on doing difficult things, like taking vitamins on a regular basis.

Like you, I plan on accomplishing some things because these are ways I want to take care of myself. I'm being realistic here, I know not everything is going to get done but I sure will try!

I'd love to hear your resolutions, ideas or comments. Let me feel the love.

Chicago may be the "Second City" but it's first in nicknames: "Hog Butcher to the World," "The City that Works," "Chitown" and my personal favorite "The City of Broad Shoulders" --va va va voom! Chicago is a truly fabulous place to live. For this challenge I decided to "go home" and return to my "roots" as a podcaster, or as we used to say "audio blogger" and take you on a sound-seeing tour of our quaint neighborhood, Andersonville.

In the early days of podcasting, way back in 2004, bloggers added audio mp3 files to their entries to enhance the flavor and depth of their usual entries. Boy has this development grown to incorporate so many fabulous types of podcasts. The podcast genre presents information that you just can't experience through the written word, YouTube clips or photographs alone. Recorded interviews, round table discussions, music samplers, oral histories, sound-seeing tours and other auditory experiences created as podcasts enrich the internet in exciting new ways.

Listen as Marc Felion and me, Fausto Fernós take you on a little tour of our neighborhood Andersonville, as we flirt with sexy pastry chefs, peek into people's windows to see their Christmas trees and talk about the gay bars and lesbian hangouts that make our fabulous neighborhood.

Yes, my voice really does sound like that!

Click here to download the audio mp3 file (and play on your iPod.)

We start our little tour in my living room, playing my favorite piano in the whole wide world, a fabulous sounding Yamaha U1 white upright piano. You can follow my sound-seeing tour with my sweet and handsome husband Marc Felion either by checking out my photo gallery on Flickr or through Google Maps Streets View, which allows you to see the location as if you were walking down the street with us. We'll let you know when to head south when when we reach 5449 N. Clark St!

It's really cold today in Chicago. We had to wear several layers of clothing to keep from freezing as Marc and I left the apartment to give you guys the grand tour of Andersonville. Once a Swedish neighborhood, Andersonville has become lesbian central, hence it's nickname Ander-snatch. After all, if Chicago calls the Lakeview neighborhood that caters mostly to gay guys "Boystown," why not call Andersonville "Ander-snatch?"

According to gaydemographics.org, the zip code 60660 has the highest concentration of lesbian couples in the city and the fifth highest in the country. Gay or lesbian, Andersonville is where couples come to nest. It's quite cozy around here.

The great thing about our neighborhood is the close proximity Vietnamese, Middle Eastern, lesbians, Lebanese, gay men and Swedish people live in. If you walk from Bryn Mawr to Foster on Clark Street you can easily hear all kinds of people speaking in several languages.

Whoa! I almost slipped on the ice there.

Although our neighborhood isn't as severely decorated for the holidays as some suburban homes in Chicago, it's still fun to see people get creative with their decorations. Still, I don't know why these folks thought lime green lights would look good in the front of their house. Lime green? Yuck. That is one ugly display. It makes some people's MySpace pages look elegant by comparison.

Some people just put up a Christmas tree by the window to say to themselves and the world "I am not that lonely this Christmas." It's kind of touching, but also odd to see these sad Charlie Brown trees peeking out from the windows like abandoned cats waiting for a more loving family to adopt them.

Be sure to check out the Flickr photo gallery "The Horrors of Christmas" that showcases the psychedelic and obscene side of the holidays. I love these sick and crazy holiday decorations, don't you?

The odd thing about Clark Street in Andersonville is the unusual number of Sushi restaurants per lesbian resident. In just a six block street I counted over SEVEN sushi restaurants. I know ladies like fish but come on! SEVEN?

I really love the wacky fundamentalist Philadelphia Church that looks like it was converted out of an old bank building. It even has a sign that harkens back to its history that states "Jesus Saves." It always reminds me to get a passbook savings account. They also decided to keep the big clocks but have removed the hands to remind the public that Armageddon can strike at any time. After all in Heaven (or Hell) time has no meaning. I've sat through some folk music shows and church services that felt like an eternity too.

Stargaze is known among some circles as the "lesbian prison bar" because it seems like women get dumped there after being released from prison. Everyone jokes that upon released from prison, they give you a token for a free drink there. True? Maybe not, but I wouldn't dare ask.

I love getting freshly made Italian cookies from Pasticceria Natalina. Natalina and her sexy husband Nick decided to open up the shop on a whim and make some delicious cookies. Honestly, this by far one of the best pastry shops in the city. They make everything from scratch with the finest, freshest ingredients. Their prices are a bit steep, but worth every penny. Try the cannoli, you won't be disappointed. If you stop there, flirt a little with her husband. He may act shy but something tells me he really likes the attention!

Our tour ends at Women and Children First Bookstore, one of the finest feminist bookstores in the country that regularly brings in fabulous female authors to sign and read their books there. Even Hilary Clinton has done a book signing there.

Thanks for joining us on my little tour of Andersonville!

To subscribe to the Feast of Fools podcast for free using iTunes, click here.

The year of 2007 was a big blender of emotions, podcasts and dazzling glitter spinning around in my head. We have made a lot of important achievements in the podcasting world. The Feast of Fools: Gay Fun Show had a lot of fun and excitement this year. We won the People's Choice Podcast Award for "Best GLBT" podcast for a second year in a row, but were also nominated for "Podcast of the Year." This was the first time ever a gay-themed podcast has been nominated for the prestigious award. We were so excited going to Los Angeles for the awards ceremony-- everyone looked fabulous!

This year we also launched our video podcast "Show Me Now" which just got nominated for a Queer Verve "Best Video Blog" award. I also managed to land an interview with THE supermodel to the world, RuPaul. It was like a dream come true when she personalized her famous mantra for us by shouting "You Feast of Fools Bitches Better Work!"

And work we do: I put out a new talk show five days a week because I see it makes a difference in my audience's lives. The Internet is wonderful way to bring people together. When I came out of the closet at 18 I only knew a small handful of gay people. But now our audience alone shows the wide range and variety of gay life that is out there and accessible to everyone.

Our daily talk show provides entertainment, comfort and insight about the gay experience to many different kids of people. We share with our audience the joy, wonder and laughter of a journey of discovery.

We got a letter from one of mature lesbian listeners, Barbara who lives out in California. She wrote to say that she sees the positive impact our show has on young people. She donated to offset our production costs saying, "you may not be a charity, but you do good work."

But the most intense moment of 2007 for me personally was my father passing away. In the middle of March my elderly father was moved into intensive care for problems with diabetes and was obviously not in good shape. Knowing this would be my only chance to say goodbye, I took a couple of days off work and jumped on the next plane down to Puerto Rico.

I will never forget looking into my father's sad eyes, both of us crying, knowing it would be the last time I would ever see him alive. I'm so thankful that I was able to tell him that I loved him and that I owe so much of who I am to him. I thanked him for being my dad. My dad was never very close with any of his sons, but I told him that I forgave him for any distance that there was between us.

I returned to Chicago and several days later I got a call from my sister that my father was about to die. My partner Marc and I tried to fly right back to Puerto Rico but a volcano explosion on the neighboring island of Montserrat delayed our flight. Of all the things in the world, who would have thought that a cloud of volcanic ash would have kept us from flying that night? The next morning we took off only to discover that my father had already passed away by the time we got there. I was OK though, I had said goodbye.

Years ago my father picked out for his service one of the strangest funeral parlors in Puerto Rico, the Celestium. Maybe he discovered it in a local architectural journal because of its unusual structural design: a monolithic domes, arranged in a triangle. A monolithic dome is a structure that is built much like a large-scale piñata, where fiberglass rods are glued onto a large inflated bubble and upon curing are reinforced by spray-on concrete. Not only is it cheap to build, it also withstands hurricanes and looks a like a fabulous concrete spaceship.

My father, the architect and UFO fanatic, would have been enthralled!

This unusually designed crematorium was was home to an equally strange staff: a group of Puerto Rican new-age lesbians who could have even been off-worlders themselves.

My father surely would have loved the "Sleeping Beauty" like plexiglas case in which he was displayed. His glass coffin was guarded by a butch female attendant who would pull back a lace shroud allowing you to peer inside. A gutsy folk singer sang proudly with her guitar songs of lost love and forgiveness.

When my sister Talia and I were in our teens, one day after school my dad looked at us in the eye and said with a very serious tone: "My children, when I die I will go on to live on other planets in outer space and enroll in the great University of the Cosmos in order to learn about many wonderful things." As you can imagine, my sister and I were stunned. But that day, it totally made sense. My father would have enjoyed seeing us mourn his death in the spaceship Celestium slash funeral parlor, contemplating whether he indeed made it to outer space and what wonderful things he may be learning.

I remember my father by doing my talk show. Whether here on Earth or in Outer Space: to love, learn, entertain, inform and raise consciousness is the most important thing of all.

Who is the hottest man on the planet earth? Who should I pick for this Gay Bloggies challenge? There are so many hunks... I asked my husband Marc Felion and the next thing I felt was his shoe hitting the back of my head.

When I asked him why he hit me with his shoe, he hit me again with his other shoe. "Ow! What was that for?" I turned around, he gave me that look, I KNEW what my answer had to be.

Seriously though, Marc is the sexiest man alive. Please don't hit me Marc! I don't date ugly and Marc is such a handsome man. His deep voice betrays a vulnerable passion that resonates with me and our listeners, seducing anyone he meets instantly.

His gentle charm disguises his rebellious Catholic school upbringings and I'm often surprised by the hilarious jokes he comes up with. Of all the men I've been with, and I've been with a lot, he's the sexiest by far.

He's a great lover, the kind of man you want to kiss and kiss and then kiss some more until the dawn comes and the birds start chirping. I met Marc in a seedy bar in Chicago where men cruised each other hard and beers were a dollar. I had asked him "Say, don't I know you from the Internet?" I could have sworn this was the guy I was working on AOL the night before. It was 1999 and Marc was mortified that I thought we were cruising each other online. What a geeky pick-up line he thought!

Marc smiled and said it wasn't him but offered me a drink. We talked and kissed and I took him home. Little did he realize because of the dark bar lighting that my hair was colored by Jo-Jo, the famous Chicago club kid who did Dennis Rodman's hair at the time. I had blue, red and green hair with black leopard spots.

Over the summer, Marc and I dated and I knew my fate had been sealed. Today we work and play together and every day I find him to be hotter and hotter.

He's my "number one" and I love the journey that is our daily talk show, the Feast of Fools. Just for fun, here is a wallpaper photo-montage I made of photos of Marc Felion:

I may be married, but I am far from being dead. One of the most thrilling aspects of doing our daily talk show is knowing that we have a large and sexy audience listening to our shows every day. Any time I feel like throwing in the towel I imagine these sexy mo-fo's wearing a towel and that keeps be going on strong.

Here's is a short list and by no means the only hot men who listen and watch our shows:

Yves from New York City, USA:

Tom from London, England:

Luis from Hollywood, USA:

Sid from San Francisco, USA:

Maurice from Berlin, Germany:

Andreas from Malmo, Sweden:

2qt2bst8 from Hong Kong:

Jonathan from Los Angeles, USA:

Where did the whole "cake sitting" idea come from? Early on in the days of our podcast, we had interviewed filmmaker John Waters where he revealed his fascination with "sploshing" videos and magazines coming from England. Sploshing is seen by many as a sexual fetish where messy substances like food or gels are liberally applied to a persons skin. We think it works best if the person is dressed up in some sort of authority figure and gets messed up. The humor to me resembles those classic "Three Stooges" episodes that ended in pie fights at the rich lady's house, where all the artistocrats got literally soaked in custard pies.

It touches a deep funny bone inside me.

So we turned this around and asked the audience on our podcast to submit their own cake sitting videos but with a political purpose. Harking to Marie Antoinette, we want America to sit on cakes to stop the war.

"No cake shall be left unsat until we bring home the troops from Iraq."

This World AIDS Day (Dec. 1) I'd like to also send a message of love and healing to all the people of the world who suffer from this terrible disease.

Here are some past videos of people who've sat on cakes before:

Jonathan:

Drew:

Jeremy:

and Pedro:
(the first guy who ever sent us a cake-sitting video)

Answer 1: Four. (Four years ago Perez was 36 and Hilton was 9, which made Perez four times as old as Hilton) [YIPEEE!]

Answer 2: Melanie Griffith.(Creates the anagram: RIGHT FEE IN A FILM) [YIPEEE!]

Answer 3: Sweden and Lebanon are hidden in the statement:
"In the United NationS WE DENounce the wholesaLE BAN ON atomic weapons." [YIPEEE!]

Answer 4: There are eleven cubes.
(5 small ones, one large one, 4 cubes composed of three objects and one cube composed of four smaller cubes) [YIPEEE!]

Answer 5: On Saturday November, 24, 2007, Queer Click is 3 years, 4 months and 24 days.
(Queer Click's domain according to Network Solutions was registered on July 1, 2004. If it existed before, it wasn't under the domain name) [YIPEEE!]

Answer 6: Andy Towle of Towleroad blog was the 2006 winner for "Best Personality" for the Gay Bloggies. [YIPEEE!]

Answer 7: The female celebrity that has made the most appearances on Queer Click is:
Jessica Simpson, or more precisely her mouth!

Other appearances:
David Beckham's Bulge
Chris Vance Prison Break Bulge
[YIPEEE! First one to get it right, impressive!]

Answer 8: Here are three 2007 Sponsors for Gay Bloggies: Sean Cody, Randy Blue and Aussie Bum. [WHOOPS! Missed out the first part of the question]

Answer 9: AussieBum's online store has 11 different designs under the Freshhh lyrca swimwear line. [YIPEEE!]

Answer 10: [Name removed to protect the innocent]

Over Thanksgiving, we went to my Uncle Bill's ranch in Stockdale, Texas (an hour east of San Antonio). As we drove up to the ranch, there were dozens of burnt orange Longhorns grazing on the front lawn. Orange Longhorns! BURNT orange. We just had to take pictures and shoot videos of these fabulous beasts to share with you.

The huge Longhorn steers looked suspiciously at us as we approached them with broken pieces of orange pumpkin to feed them. Did they eat them? Watch the video below and find out the amazing effect the color orange has on cattle!

Why does pleasure have to be seen as guilty? My friend Annie Sprinkle is always always talking about in her sexy performances that Americans are way too hung up on thinking of pleasure as something to be guilty about. Maybe it's those crazy pilgrims who came over on the Mayflower exerting their influence on us almost 400 years later. Just because they were prudes about sex and pleasure why do they still have to ruin the fun for the rest of us? Why can't we just revel in being joyful, stimulated or excited? Well, it's because sometimes we feel kind of dorky and fear we'll be mocked!

I don't care. I'm ready to come out of the closet, the Star Trek closet that is! My guilty pleasure is watching the television series developed by Gene Rodenberry that began in the 1960s. Star Trek shows remain a remarkable depiction of a promising future where humans and people not quite like us worked together, learned from each other and explored the universe for self-growth. They did it for the sheer fascination of it. All the plots of the shows are allegories to modern day woes like racism, homophobia, multiculturalism and the role of technology in our lives.

After a particularly stressful day, nothing soothes me like a good episode of Star Trek: Voyager. It's not just the story line or the characters that I enjoy, it's also the techy sounds, beeps and background noise they add to the shows. It's hypnotic.

One of the episodes that really strikes a chord with me is when the half-klingon, half-human B'Elanna Torres gets caught by aliens who separate her into two people, one Klingon and one human. The episode focuses mostly on the human B'Elanna's struggle to embrace her wilder untamed Klingon self, until she finally realizes that she needs both of her selves to survive.

It was difficult for me being of mixed cultures growing up in Puerto Rico. Not just being gay, but being a blue eyed white kid in a predominantly brown skinned culture wasn't always easy. I've always felt like and outsider in my own country, as well as anywhere else I live. Like B'Elana, I've fought with my Puerto Rican side and my American side. Someday I'll reconcile them.

So there you have it, my guilty pleasure. I also like making slash collages of one of the greatest gay couples of all time Kirk and Spock. I hope you enjoy the campy fun and please don't give any tribbles to Richard Gere- they never the same again.

Just for fun, here is a sexy gay photo montage of one of the greatest gay couples in science fiction, Captain Kirk (William Shatner) and First Science Officer Spock (Leonard Nemoy):

WHAT MAKES ME GAY?
I take just one look at a photo of Jake Gyllenhall and I forget about anything else. I'm gay. If you're reading this, you're probably gay too. It's easy to take this identity for granted because of all the fun, juicy things that come along with the glorious rainbow flag.

But back when we came out of the closet to ourselves and the world around us, we wondered "what makes me gay?" Is it something genetically hard-wired in me, something fabulous that happened in my formative years or some sort of magical combination of both?

The neuroscientist Simon LeVay got a lot of press in 1991 when he wrote about his studies involving gay men's sexuality and brain structure. He studied slices of deceased gay men who had died from HIV/AIDS complications to find out if there was any difference between their brain structure and the presumably heterosexual male brains he could find elsewhere.

He concluded that gay men had smaller hypothalamus compared to their straight counterparts. What a size queen!

The problem with this study is that Dr. LeVay only examined a handful of subjects and he never took into consideration that the differences in the size of the hypothalamus may have been caused by diseases they had suffered or from the medication they may have taken to combat AIDS.

People from all sides of the ideological fence were furious over the study. Gays were mad because they were being sliced apart and dissected in what many thought might lead to a cure for homosexuality and "conversion to heterosexuality" therapists were upset because they feared a biological rather than moral cause of homosexuality and end up having to look for new work. Despite this controversy, I think queers everywhere should embrace the question: "What Makes Us Gay?"

Knowledge is power and understanding the mechanics of human sexuality means we all stand to gain a greater understanding of ourselves and the world around us. Heaven forbid the technology should arise to "cure" homosexuality in the future, because that's a binary that can be turned both ways. If you can STOP gayness from happening you can also START it in others. Think of all the sexy gay terrorism that will happen in the future. Oooo La La!

I know there are a couple of hunky guys at the gym I'd like to test my hypothesis on.

WHY DO GAYS EXIST AT ALL?
Here's a question I'd like to pose to researchers out there: what is the biological function of same-sex-sexualities. Through archaeological evidence we've seen that gay sex has existed everywhere through time. There are some really sexy statues of Hercules getting his cock grabbed by Diomedes.

Many zoologists like Bruce Bagemihl document the same-sex experience in the animal kingdom. In his book "Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity" he documents and writes extensively about how widespread gay sex is in the animal kingdom.

Your average acre of tropical rain forest has more gay sex happening in it than Senator Larry Craig's favorite men's bathroom at the International Minneapolis airport.

"Biological Exuberance" is a great read, with stories about gay penguins in long-term relationships, flaming flamingos and queer bats. Really, Bat man is gay in more ways that you can even imagine. Gays and gay sex is critical to the patchwork of life.

Obviously it's here for a reason and it's not just for the hot sex. Or is it? Maybe we are just here to have fun and do someone's hair.

What purpose do gays or gay serve in order to further our own species?

I'd like to offer my hunch. It may have something to do with bees. Most of the worker bees in a hive never get to reproduce. They are all essentially sexless slaves, working for their master queen bee, happily bringing in nectar to the hive until the day they die. They don't get to pass on their genes, but they still enjoy the work. Gays in many ways are like those bees. We sometimes participate as breeders but for the most part we don't. We're mother natures helping hand.

Gay people exist today as an identity because it's possible. In other non-western nations, the concept of "gay" isn't as concrete and visible as it is in our own culture. Same-sex relationships between men is expected in some areas of the world but always kept on the "down low."

Our ability to be visible, to create our own mythology and culture and to develop relationships is so vital to the world of today.

What is this fight for gay rights really about? It's for everyone everywhere to be able to shape their lives by desire, it's for us to be able to express love where our hearts take us.

Don't let looks deceive you though.

CHICKS GROW UP TO BE ROOSTERS
Growing up in Puerto Rico, at Easter there were many little markets in the centers of small towns that sold all sorts of goodies. One tradition that still happens to this day is selling brightly colored, dyed baby chicks for children to play with until they die. It's sort of a Puerto Rican version of the death and resurrection of Jesus but in this case the chicks rarely, if ever resurrect, but sometimes they do in fact survive.

When we spotted these cute and freaky birds as kids we begged our parents to buy them. My mom must have thought they couldn't possibly survive the coloring process and she must have thought we needed a lesson in death, so she bought us each one.

I got a green chick, my older sister a blue one and my little sister a pink one. All the chicks except the flaming gay pink one died in a matter of days. The gayest little pink chick named "Flower" grew up to be a glorious, large and ferocious rooster that would attack anyone it could. Now that was a cock to reckon with!

In the rural areas of Puerto Rico it's normal for people to let chickens runs wild in their back yard. Well, we lived in the city so my dad took our rusty geodesic dome jungle gym and covered it with chicken wire to make a makeshift home for the "de-pinked" wild rooster. Every morning at dawn and sometimes in the middle of the night when he was spooked, Flower would wake up everyone on the street with his "Ki kiri kee!" This, of course, drove our neighbors nuts.

One summer we traveled up to Texas to visit my mom's family and my mom left our family rooster in care of my Uncle Cuqui. Cuqui, who's name sounds like "cookie" was a diabetic who kept tanks of guppies, chickens and all sorts of animals in his suburban home. He was kind of eccentric but really he was just Puerto Rican through and through. He was as we say a jibarito- the wily hillbilly. When we got back home from the trip, my mother asked Uncle Cuqui about the rooster.

Cuqui told my mom: "Doña Patricia, the rooster made a lovely soup. Thank you." There's your battle of nature vs. nurture. Nature will always win, because she's one fierce bitch!

Just for fun, here is a sexy photo montage of actor Jake Gyllenhaal:

Hey there, did you hear? I've been asked to unload my deepest, darkest and smelliest secrets. Please don't think bad about me for having done all these terrible things. I had my reasons and I'm sure you'll understand:

HOT DOG BUNS
Once I went into a grocery store late at night and stuck my fingers in all the hot dog buns. It felt so good, I do it all the time now and I still haven't been caught!

SCREW YOU
I own stock in the RIAA and I'm happy to see teenagers get sued for downloading music because it means that my dividends will go up.

SCREW ME
Once I got a raise by letting my boss fuck me in the ass after work. I didn't get the raise because he or I enjoyed it. I got it because he was afraid I was going to tell everyone that he moaned "Mommy" as he fucked me. I later met his mother and slipped some condoms her purse.

TWITTER TERRORISM
I really hate my neighbor and his dog, so I started reading his twitter account in order to find out when he was away. When I saw my chance, I broke into his apartment and took the dog's shit that he never cleans up and put it in his laptop and closed it tight.

SLASH AND BURN
My friend and I were invited to a hot guy's apartment for a possible three way later one night. I knew the guy liked my friend better than me so I went an hour earlier to my friend's house and punctured all four of his tires so he'd miss the party. Later that night I had sex with the stud and when I came, I thought about that ice pick sticking out of my friend's car tire and smiled.

RUIN IT FOR EVERYONE
I went opening night to see the Sixth Sense and after I saw the ending, I walked across the hallway to the other theater that had just started showing it and yelled into a makeshift megaphone: "BRUCE WILLIS IS A DEAD GHOST ONLY THE BOY CAN SEE!"

MAKE THEM CRY
I told an old queen on the street that Barbara Streisand had just died. I hugged him as he wept. It was really hard to disguise my laughter as sobs of sympathy.

HOW DARE YOU
I saw my roommate in college getting gay bashed on campus and did nothing. I didn't want anyone to think I was queer, plus I was mad that he drank my last beer.

CELEBRITY DETOX
I dressed up as Jeffrey Sebella from Project Runway and went around Boystown begging to suck all the cock I could get. I was mad because the fucking paparazzi I called never even showed up, but I did get some free drinks.

AIDS FREE RIDE
Last year I raised over $2000 for the AIDS Ride and I took the money and treated myself to an Atlantis Gay Cruise. Trinidad was terrific, Tobago was terrible!

I LIED
In order to raise doubts about the authenticity of my words, I may have lied about everything I've ever said on the internet and especially on this site.

Please keep this a secret.
Love,
Fausto Fernós

Just for fun, here is a sexy photo montage of Adult Film Star Pavel Novotny:

My real name REALLY is Fausto Fernós and I was born and lived until the age of 16 on the Island of Puerto Rico.

You might be thinking, "funny, you don't look or sound Puertorican," but I am. Living in San Juan, we grew up speaking both English and Spanish, watching a ton of American made television programs like "Alice" and "The Jeffersons." I learned how to talk this way from watching Flo and Florence sass around at their jobs.

I've always dreamed of being a talk-show host. When I first saw the David Letterman TV show I was floored by the creative, hilarious gags they did on the show. Remember Dave throwing watermelons off the roof? In slow motion, they looked like fruit flavored fireworks. I was stunned when Sandra Bernhardt and Madonna held hands and told the world they were dating. I remember Grace Jones coked up rolling on Letterman's desk. I knew I had to have this in my life.

I work seven days a week on a popular talk show I produce with my husband Marc Felion called the "Feast of Fools." It's an amazing job recording a talk show that is heard by tens of thousands of people, especially gay people all over the world. It sometimes blows my mind the power of the internet to bring individuals together from such great distances. Teenagers in rural Alabama, senior citizen lesbians in California and Muslim gays living in Iran listen to the show.

I've had the opportunity to talk to celebrities, musicians, writers and activists from all walks of life. I sat in the back seat of Kathy Griffin's limousine and was invited to grab her breasts to check if they were real (they were real). I fed apple pie to Star Trek's George Takei (it was delicious). I asked Paula Poundstone point blank if she was a lesbian and she said no (she's asexual).

I fought with a Madonna impersonator at the Apple store in downtown Michigan Avenue:

One thing most of the celebrities that have been on our show have in common is that they are generally optimistic people. They don't let themselves get bogged down in petty conflicts, they are happy people. They embrace new technologies and a new opportunity to speak about themselves and their work to an audience that might not always know that side about them.

One thing I treasure most is the interviews with people from parts of the world were just being gay is still illegal, where slavery is commonplace and where women are treated as second class citizens. We've spoken to activists from Nigeria, Russia and Thailand and asked them all the same questions at the end of the interview that we asked the celebrities- What makes you mad? What's for dinner? What happens when we die?

At the beginning of every show we ask our listeners to buy a t-shirt and then remind them that "without you, we're nothing." Indeed we are nothing with out them. My loving partner Marc Felion is the other half of the heart that makes the show pulse. I couldn't do it with out him.

The Feast of Fools gets it's title from an essay from early gay rights activist Harry Hay who felt gays should "embrace a certain frivolity." Hay envisioned a future where people felt free to express themselves fully and honestly and therefore “act foolish.”

I hope my talk show is part of Harry Hay's dream of equality being made into a reality.
Click here to subscribe to the show for FREE on iTunes.

Just for fun, here is a sexy photo montage of Hollywood hunk Chris Evans: