Gay Bloggies

WHAT MAKES ME GAY?
I take just one look at a photo of Jake Gyllenhall and I forget about anything else. I'm gay. If you're reading this, you're probably gay too. It's easy to take this identity for granted because of all the fun, juicy things that come along with the glorious rainbow flag.

But back when we came out of the closet to ourselves and the world around us, we wondered "what makes me gay?" Is it something genetically hard-wired in me, something fabulous that happened in my formative years or some sort of magical combination of both?

The neuroscientist Simon LeVay got a lot of press in 1991 when he wrote about his studies involving gay men's sexuality and brain structure. He studied slices of deceased gay men who had died from HIV/AIDS complications to find out if there was any difference between their brain structure and the presumably heterosexual male brains he could find elsewhere.

He concluded that gay men had smaller hypothalamus compared to their straight counterparts. What a size queen!

The problem with this study is that Dr. LeVay only examined a handful of subjects and he never took into consideration that the differences in the size of the hypothalamus may have been caused by diseases they had suffered or from the medication they may have taken to combat AIDS.

People from all sides of the ideological fence were furious over the study. Gays were mad because they were being sliced apart and dissected in what many thought might lead to a cure for homosexuality and "conversion to heterosexuality" therapists were upset because they feared a biological rather than moral cause of homosexuality and end up having to look for new work. Despite this controversy, I think queers everywhere should embrace the question: "What Makes Us Gay?"

Knowledge is power and understanding the mechanics of human sexuality means we all stand to gain a greater understanding of ourselves and the world around us. Heaven forbid the technology should arise to "cure" homosexuality in the future, because that's a binary that can be turned both ways. If you can STOP gayness from happening you can also START it in others. Think of all the sexy gay terrorism that will happen in the future. Oooo La La!

I know there are a couple of hunky guys at the gym I'd like to test my hypothesis on.

WHY DO GAYS EXIST AT ALL?
Here's a question I'd like to pose to researchers out there: what is the biological function of same-sex-sexualities. Through archaeological evidence we've seen that gay sex has existed everywhere through time. There are some really sexy statues of Hercules getting his cock grabbed by Diomedes.

Many zoologists like Bruce Bagemihl document the same-sex experience in the animal kingdom. In his book "Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity" he documents and writes extensively about how widespread gay sex is in the animal kingdom.

Your average acre of tropical rain forest has more gay sex happening in it than Senator Larry Craig's favorite men's bathroom at the International Minneapolis airport.

"Biological Exuberance" is a great read, with stories about gay penguins in long-term relationships, flaming flamingos and queer bats. Really, Bat man is gay in more ways that you can even imagine. Gays and gay sex is critical to the patchwork of life.

Obviously it's here for a reason and it's not just for the hot sex. Or is it? Maybe we are just here to have fun and do someone's hair.

What purpose do gays or gay serve in order to further our own species?

I'd like to offer my hunch. It may have something to do with bees. Most of the worker bees in a hive never get to reproduce. They are all essentially sexless slaves, working for their master queen bee, happily bringing in nectar to the hive until the day they die. They don't get to pass on their genes, but they still enjoy the work. Gays in many ways are like those bees. We sometimes participate as breeders but for the most part we don't. We're mother natures helping hand.

Gay people exist today as an identity because it's possible. In other non-western nations, the concept of "gay" isn't as concrete and visible as it is in our own culture. Same-sex relationships between men is expected in some areas of the world but always kept on the "down low."

Our ability to be visible, to create our own mythology and culture and to develop relationships is so vital to the world of today.

What is this fight for gay rights really about? It's for everyone everywhere to be able to shape their lives by desire, it's for us to be able to express love where our hearts take us.

Don't let looks deceive you though.

CHICKS GROW UP TO BE ROOSTERS
Growing up in Puerto Rico, at Easter there were many little markets in the centers of small towns that sold all sorts of goodies. One tradition that still happens to this day is selling brightly colored, dyed baby chicks for children to play with until they die. It's sort of a Puerto Rican version of the death and resurrection of Jesus but in this case the chicks rarely, if ever resurrect, but sometimes they do in fact survive.

When we spotted these cute and freaky birds as kids we begged our parents to buy them. My mom must have thought they couldn't possibly survive the coloring process and she must have thought we needed a lesson in death, so she bought us each one.

I got a green chick, my older sister a blue one and my little sister a pink one. All the chicks except the flaming gay pink one died in a matter of days. The gayest little pink chick named "Flower" grew up to be a glorious, large and ferocious rooster that would attack anyone it could. Now that was a cock to reckon with!

In the rural areas of Puerto Rico it's normal for people to let chickens runs wild in their back yard. Well, we lived in the city so my dad took our rusty geodesic dome jungle gym and covered it with chicken wire to make a makeshift home for the "de-pinked" wild rooster. Every morning at dawn and sometimes in the middle of the night when he was spooked, Flower would wake up everyone on the street with his "Ki kiri kee!" This, of course, drove our neighbors nuts.

One summer we traveled up to Texas to visit my mom's family and my mom left our family rooster in care of my Uncle Cuqui. Cuqui, who's name sounds like "cookie" was a diabetic who kept tanks of guppies, chickens and all sorts of animals in his suburban home. He was kind of eccentric but really he was just Puerto Rican through and through. He was as we say a jibarito- the wily hillbilly. When we got back home from the trip, my mother asked Uncle Cuqui about the rooster.

Cuqui told my mom: "Doña Patricia, the rooster made a lovely soup. Thank you." There's your battle of nature vs. nurture. Nature will always win, because she's one fierce bitch!

Just for fun, here is a sexy photo montage of actor Jake Gyllenhaal: