Hey there, did you hear? I've been asked to unload my deepest, darkest and smelliest secrets. Please don't think bad about me for having done all these terrible things. I had my reasons and I'm sure you'll understand:

Hot Dog BunsHOT DOG BUNS
Once I went into a grocery store late at night and stuck my fingers in all the hot dog buns. It felt so good, I do it all the time now and I still haven't been caught!

Fausto's angry that the $4.99 all you can eat buffet has raised their prices $1.SCREW YOU
I own stock in the RIAA and I'm happy to see teenagers get sued for downloading music because it means that my dividends will go up.

Fausto Fernós loves his new haircut!SCREW ME
Once I got a raise by letting my boss fuck me in the ass after work. I didn't get the raise because he or I enjoyed it. I got it because he was afraid I was going to tell everyone that he moaned "Mommy" as he fucked me. I later met his mother and slipped some condoms her purse.

Dog wearing the blue Feast of Fools t-shirtTWITTER TERRORISM
I really hate my neighbor and his dog, so I started reading his twitter account in order to find out when he was away. When I saw my chance, I broke into his apartment and took the dog's shit that he never cleans up and put it in his laptop and closed it tight.

Fausto Fernós and Tom ArmstrongSLASH AND BURN
My friend and I were invited to a hot guy's apartment for a possible three way later one night. I knew the guy liked my friend better than me so I went an hour earlier to my friend's house and punctured all four of his tires so he'd miss the party. Later that night I had sex with the stud and when I came, I thought about that ice pick sticking out of my friend's car tire and smiled.

MegaphoneRUIN IT FOR EVERYONE
I went opening night to see the Sixth Sense and after I saw the ending, I walked across the hallway to the other theater that had just started showing it and yelled into a makeshift megaphone: "BRUCE WILLIS IS A DEAD GHOST ONLY THE BOY CAN SEE!"

Belgianchocolate's Flickr Pro Entry.MAKE THEM CRY
I told an old queen on the street that Barbara Streisand had just died. I hugged him as he wept. It was really hard to disguise my laughter as sobs of sympathy.

Ryan Slasinski holds a can of beer that makes his penis look big.HOW DARE YOU
I saw my roommate in college getting gay bashed on campus and did nothing. I didn't want anyone to think I was queer, plus I was mad that he drank my last beer.

Fausto wins Project Runway!CELEBRITY DETOX
I dressed up as Jeffrey Sebella from Project Runway and went around Boystown begging to suck all the cock I could get. I was mad because the fucking paparazzi I called never even showed up, but I did get some free drinks.

Fausto at Boqueron BeachAIDS FREE RIDE
Last year I raised over $2000 for the AIDS Ride and I took the money and treated myself to an Atlantis Gay Cruise. Trinidad was terrific, Tobago was terrible!

Fausto enjoys the colorful basement of the Hilton Hotel.I LIED
In order to raise doubts about the authenticity of my words, I may have lied about everything I've ever said on the internet and especially on this site.

Please keep this a secret.
Love,
Fausto Fernós

Just for fun, here is a sexy photo montage of Adult Film Star Pavel Novotny:
Just for fun: Pavel Novotny Wallpaper

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