Gay Bloggies

Conceived on a January beach on California's Monterey Peninsula, sea lions barking in the distance, Richard might well have grown up as an environmentally responsible heterosexual. His father was taking a break from saving the world from Japanese imperialism and his mother had moved to California to rivet and enjoy the occasional conjugal visit from her hero.

But family nagged his parents back to New York and he was instead born on 17th Street and Second Avenue in a building that is now a luxury Manhattan condominium. Repeated visits to City Hall have failed to earn his birthplace Landmark Status or even a bronze plaque. In any case, yanked from his place of conception by demanding grandmothers, Richard came into the world gay, neurotic and incapable of recycling.

Richard experienced his first orgasm at the age of 11 during nude swimming lessons with 30 other boys at the Young Men's Hebrew Association. The incident, involving a pool filter, did not escape the notice of the swimming instructor and Richard was sent to a psychologist who, after nine months of therapy, declared the young boy to be cured of all homosexual tendencies. Richard is still aroused by the smell of chlorine and the throb of pool filtration systems. Upon learning that her son was gay some 30 years later, Richard's mother demanded a refund from the doctor. Unfortunately, the child psychologist had passed away.

In order to avoid Vietnam (yes, he is that old) Richard stayed in college long enough to earn two degrees, one in History and the other in Sociology. These two areas of study well equipped Richard to pursue a very successful career in public relations where at great profit he manipulated the behavior and opinions of millions upon millions of gullible Americans. Have a headache? Take ADVIL. Richard is the guy who conned you into believing that branded ibuprofen is better than generic ibuprofen at half the price.

At the age of 40 Richard determined to commit suicide rather than continue life in the closet. As a going away gift to himself he flew to Amsterdam and threw a farewell party that included losing his gay virginity to 12 male escorts over five days. Unfortunately for those who were anxiously awaiting his arrival in the afterlife, Richard reacted to those 12 men the way some people supposedly react to a certain brand of potato chips: he couldn't stop at just one, he couldn't stop at just 12.

Today, some 18 years and about 1,500 potatoes chips since that fateful trip to Amsterdam, Richard still hasn't found his satiation point regarding salty snacks. In addition to his work in public relations, Richard has today become obsessed with blogging and is also nearing completion of his first book documenting the history of the relationship between three generations of his family, homosexuality and prostitution.

As he approaches his senior years, AARP discounts and Golden Passes at the local AMC Multiplex, Richard, never able to resist a challenge, has set out through his Blog to establish himself as the dirtiest old gay man in America. Few readers fail to notice how this vision informs his daily blogs and passion for photographing naked men. Some people say his blog is NSFW, but if that's the case, he believes, you should change your place of work.

If you want to know more about his blog, go read it. He's way too busy with his goals to grab you by the salty snacks and lead you to the spawn of his libido, imagination and insurmountalbe wisdom--the only thing about him, by the way, that remains insurmountable. And if you're too lazy to click on over to Proceed At Your Own Risk, here's a little taste of what you're missing--in addition to his brilliant insights on politics, religion, art, foot tapping and growing old with a yet to be managed libido.